Careless
She tried to be careless. She let everyone believe that she was careless, too.
She wasn't going to let them see what was really going on. She wasn't going to let them see what they did to her. They wouldn't get that satisfaction. She wanted them to see the lies. She wanted herself to see the lies, as well.
She was so close to not caring. She was so close to letting her head believe what she knew in heart wasn't true.
She was almost careless.
She was almost free.
She was almost herself.