Idk yet

The pain.
OH MY GOD!
The pain. Its all i can think about, its all i can feel.
A deep ache. Fire through my veins, making me gasp and arch my back as another wave if pain rolled in.
My mind is fuzzy, i cant really think. But one thing is as clear as glass, i NEEDED to get it out.
A silver dagger, an ancient cerimonial instrument, almost a piece of art, was showed unforgivingky through my gut.
I fumbled to gtab it, to get it iut, to make it stop. But my fingersdont know how to work anymore.
My limbs are sluggish, like trying to run through water.
Im pulling at the dagger, but im barely moving it.
I try to gather my thoughts, telling myself to calm down, to breathe.
YOU CAN DO THIS MONICA, i inwardly scream at myself.
Then i ACTUALLY take a look at my body, its shredded, dishoveled, worn out and bleeding everywhere.
The gruesome mess i call my body is in horrible condition.
Imagine a zombie who hot its guts ripped out, and decided to get in a fight with a shredder.
Exactly the same, except theres also a dagger sticking out of me.
I slowly relize im tired.
That it feels like the most heaviest, comfortable blanket in the world has swaddled me.
Its gettin kinda hard to keep my eyes open.
My vision going black around the edges, i cant think, im bleeding everywhere. Maybe i shoukd just give up. Wouldnt ut be easier to just die? I mean its like going to sleep.
NOOOOOOOOO
i cant think like that, i have to survive.
i have to.
My fingers squeeze the dagger, my fingers slipping on blood. Im trembling, afraid of the pain thats about to come.
The one thing that keeps me going, is the knowledge that somehow, im going to be ok. I dont know how, its just going to be okay.
Then suddenly, befire i can change my mind, before i can think about what im doing, i thrust upward with all my might.
I scream through clenched teeth.
Its horrible. Im shaking, i cant breathe, i cant do anything.
i freeze in the middle of my own pain and misery.
im gasping, but nothing can decribe it.