Mereka semua selalu sama, menatapku dengan tatapan membenci, aku sendiri tidak tahu kenapa mereka begitu membenciku, apa karna ibuku janda? Ibuku seorang penyanyi dangdut? atau karna aku terlihat buruk dan cemen dihadapan mereka?
Mungkin aku tidak bisa melakukan perlawanan pada mereka dari dulu, aku hanya bisa diam saat ditindas, aku hanya bisa menangis saat dihina, tapi ketahuilah, Tuhan tidak pernah membiarkan umatnya menderita terus menerus. Kebahagiaan itu akan datang, aku yakin sekali.
"Hei, ngapain disini aja? Kiara, sekarang kita udah SMA dan kita harus lebih dewasa lagi, jangan fikirin ucapan mereka, ayo." Ajaknya ramah.
Bella mengait tanganku dengan sangat ramah dan mengajakku untuk segera menuju kelas, bersyukurlah aku satu kelas dengannya, dengan itu aku masih mempunyai teman untuk berbagi cerita dan bertanya.
Mungkin ini berlebihan, tapi inilah kenyataan yang aku hadapi selama berada didunia ini, dunia yang sangat penuh dengan kekejaman, penderitaan, dan jerit tangis kesakitan.
-I am not good at giving descriptions but please give my story a chance-
"He was the calm and she was the storm."
They always say, loving someone would turn your life upside down in a good way but I believed that it's the opposite of good, and guess what? I was right.
Love was always out of my mind. I drink, eat, and breathe my work I'm the definition of work alcoholic it's the truth.
Then one day when I entered this case I knew that it will let me get where I want but for the first time in my life I was wrong. I failed!
Not in my work, I failed in my life and I think I deserve it.
My dad always tried gaining control over me and I hated it. One day I became sick of my dad's controllers over me so I decided that no one other than me would be in control of my life.
Since that day I took the remote control of my life, emotions, tears, future, work, and anything that would pop out in my mind.
If you wonder what happens if I wasn't in control the answer is I don't know or let me say I didn't know! Till one day I lost the remote control and it ended up pretty bad!
I don't fear love, I fear the idea of someone else having control over my heart & feelings because you never know if the person will cherish you and never break you, or maybe it's only me. I don't trust people it's a survival instinct. And me being a controlling freak over everything doesn't make it any better for me!
Love is like a drug, when you have it you feel at the highest place in your life but when you lose it you'll feel miserable, that's what I learned from my story of love. If I lost Serkan I know that I'll break apart and never be the same because I love him so deeply, he's engraved in my heart.
And like that when I married Serkan it was like signing a deal with the devil himself.
The name of the story has a deep meaning you come to know in the story.
** The story is under editing **