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WpMetadataNoticePublikasi terakhir Kam, Jun 9, 2016
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My name is Cassidy Johnston. Everyone thinks that my life is perfect. Everyone thinks that I'm everything anyone could ever want. Well, the truth is - I don't really know what I am. I have an abusive father and step-mother. They don't care about me whatsoever. They only put up with me so they can have the satisfaction of hurting me in the end. I cover up the bruises and marks where I've been injured by them. They told me if anyone ever found out, I'd be dead... And I believe them! I'm extremely depressed, have been ever since I was twelve. I cut myself to relieve the pain. Truth be told, I have friends. But they probably aren't even my true friends. My only true friends are Jordan Hannecker and Taylor Furse. I'm just tired of everything. A few days ago, I picked a suicide date that I'm 100% content on keeping. Nobody will ever know my plans. But what if someone comes along and figures out what I'mhiding? Then I guess I'll figure it out from there. (TRIGGER WARNING!)
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Loneliness. Depression. Broken. Scared. Devastated. Hopeless. Mournful. Disheartening. Bleak. Joyless. Somber. I have no one. Depression and Loneliness are the only things I feel. My family tries to make me happy, but I just put on a fake smile and cry about it in my room. They act like everything is alright, but everything is not. They KNOW I was devastated about Mom's murder. They KNOW I was heartbroken about Dad's sickness that eventually killed him. That's all I've thought about. Devastation and heartbroken. Just because of those two things. Never in my life I have been this devastating. Dayton, Hayden, Angel, or Monica know how to make me truly happy. Not even my own siblings know how to make me show a real smile. Suicide is all I can think about day to day and I've almost died because of that. DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL EVERYDAY. NO ONE CAN JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT DEPRESSION OR EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS A REAL THING. DEPRESSION HAS KILLED PEOPLE. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUDGES ME JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SMILE, LAUGH, HUG, OR DO ANYTHING NORMAL PEOPLE DO. I CUT MYSELF, I CRY, I YELL, I VENT, I PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE. Those are the things people are worried about me. "Go kill yourself and join your parents in hell." They say and I just shrug it off and find a private place to hide and cry it out. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE ANYMORE!!!!" I say and I use my sharp nails and cut myself then cry some more. A gun is buried within my arm for defense from my dad, but I use it in case I am tired of society. Then that's when I met the Host Club. They saw my sadness and made me a part of it to repay my debt for accidentally breaking a vase. I am now a Host for men to flatter them, but how can normal guys want me to be a Host when I wear lip earrings, eyeliner, chains, and have a gun in my arm? I'm the definition of Hell. Then he made me smile again, something that I thought I would never get back. Happiness.

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