My misery
- LECTURES 227
- Votes 20
- Chapitres 17
Contenu pour adultesEn cours d'écriture14m
Dernière publication sam., août 13, 2016
YOU don't understand. How I feel .
What I have to deal with everyday. How many times I want to give up . You don't understand what it's like to be the ugliest person in the world so to make you understand my misery ill tell you what it's like. Imagine if you always sad and always trusting the wrong people imagine waking up everyday and feeling like you don't belong imagine how it feels to know you want to starve yourself yet your pathetic self can't . Imagine having everyone their yet feeling like no one is.I wake up everyday and feel like I'm not alive EVERY time I look in the mirror I force myself to hold back the tears because I know I'm ugly I know I'm never going to get a boyfriend I know I'm not worthy of living I know everyone is trying to "help" me but the only thing i want them to help me with is to leave me alone I hate life every time I walk out in public I feel ashamed of myself like no matter what I do I can never be pretty
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Addict In Black ✔
USER SERIES 1 Micah Rex: He's handsome, dangerous, reckless. An addict. When he walks into a room, people notice. People are scared of him, people don't look him in the eye. AJ Ferro: She's cute, nice respectful. A helper. When she walks in a room, people usually get flowers. People love her, people want to be her friend. Despite her cheery nature and soft words AJ has never had it easy when it came to addiction -or depression. Without his addiction, sadness and anger Micah doesn't know who he is -and he hates not knowing things. And, of all places, they meet at a rehab center. He looked at her and saw a peppy girl with no future. She looked at him and saw a troubled boy with a bad past. Micah wants to die, AJ wants him to live. It's only a matter of time before one of them breaks through or breaks the other. - I was 12 the first time I took a hit off a joint at a party, smoked a blunt by myself and bought a bong. I was 13 when I started drinking alcohol for fun. 14 the first time I took ecstasy at a college party I snuck into, the same age I lost my virginity. This was the first time I went to a mental institution because it's also the year I first tried to kill myself. 15 the first time I smoked meth, took a bump of cocaine, shot myself up with heroine. This was the first time I got sent to rehab, it didn't work and I came out worse. I was 16 when I tried to commit three times in the same year, the last time I got my heart to stop for 30 seconds. That year was also the first time I snorted Hydrocodone, getting me started in opiates, I experimented with Xanax and liked it. And I was a month from 17 when I got sober. - "Fuck you." I snap. "You already have." Micah bites out. "And I'm pretty fucking sure you liked it too, if your orgasms were anything to go by." - "I want-" Micah stopped, running his fingers through his hair. "Never mind what I want. What do you want?" His voice is quieter now, more gentle. "You."Terminé
Saved
"I've realized, over the past few years of high school, that people are like vampires. They suck your dignity, self-confidence, and your self-esteem right out of your body, like it's blood. They infect you with the poison of hatred, greed, and selfishness. You can't escape their venom, as it's always there, lurking in the darkness, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. I've learned to deal with the sting of the bite, as it never goes away. I tried to not be infected, but the poison spreads like a wildfire, eating away at every inch of your body, until you disintegrate into nothing, and you're forgotten." 🏅achievements🏅 as of 12/30 - ranked #68 in suicideawareness as of 12/30 - ranked #888 in anxietyTerminé
Not me. (2023)
so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.Terminé
Static
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stone cold
My name is Megan Joker, my mum think of me as a failure she will rather pick another woman's child over me, And my dad? He doesn't exist sister? Yes I have a step sister who think i'm a loser and always want everything I have even though she already has everything I don't have and her dad doesn't even care about my existence, Friends? All my school mates think i'm a freak and they call me cold so I don't have friends Greatest fear? Autophobia;fear of being alone, which I can't help cos i've never been nobody's business so i've been living with my fears all my life. Conclusion: Nobody want me even life itself hate me, it has tried to break me but i'm strong or maybe i'm only pretending to be cos i'm getting weak and its getting hard for me to hold on the wall of my strength is cracking I need someone to save me, anyone, please!!! "My though look is just a camouflage my heart is indeed weak and my soul needs to be fixed" Note: I know my writing skill is poor but please don't let that prevent you from enjoying the story, thanks.Terminé
Peach Fuzz
(Fem. reader) My name's Y/n, and before my life changed drastically in some good and bad ways, I was a normal person. I was just a normal girl who went to high school, and I also had trouble making friends, which is why I was dubbed "The Loner" in school. The title, I didn't mind as much, but I did start to mind once I started getting bullied for it. Fights would always be the results of it, and somehow, I'd always get in more trouble. Why? Cause this certain group of bullies liked to bully other people, and I tried to defend the victims, but I'd always be the one that ended up suspended. When I got home after days like that, my sister, the one I live with, she didn't pay me any mind, even if she didn't have work that day. She'd always be talking or playing games with her friends on days she didn't have work, and never spent time with me, which made me all the more lonely. My only comfort was watching the Lego Monkie Kid, my comfort show. It was the only thing that got me to smile, laugh, and cry when I felt lonely. All I want is just to be loved. Love is all I want. One day, another boring and lonely day at school, the bell had rung, signaling the end of the day. I got excited for it because I was finally gonna watch LMK season 5, but I saw a group of bullies messing with an innocent person, so I stepped in to help the person, but in the process, I was pushed down the stairs, causing my neck to snap, and I died. I thought I was dead dead, but I woke up as a baby, not just any baby, a baby monkey demon, and you wanna know who my dad was? Sun Wukong the Monkey King from LMK. I didn't know what to feel, but all I knew was that I got reincarnated a little ways before the Brotherhood attacked the Celestial Realm. Just like some reincarnation stories, I wasn't able to stop it, but as time went on, I went on this LMK journey, becoming friends with MK and the others, I think I even gained a crush. But what I've been wanting in my past life and this life was love.
Human Status
I live in a world where I am nameless. I live in a world where I do not matter except or unless I am owned by someone. I do not have rights, freedoms, joys, wishes, or aspirations. I am property. I was born and raised to belong to someone that will one day take me away like the fairy tale stories that I listened to everyday in the house I live in. I prayed every night that a handsome prince would come and take me to live in his castle just like in the books. I prayed that I would be a princess and have a kingdom just like in the books. But I was never told that the books were all lies. I was never told the true reason why I was a well sought after commodity. I was never told that I am not the only one like me. When I found out it was too late to save myself. To think and in less than 4 days I will be taken away from my current home and be in a home of my own. I sat on the simple wooden bed hoping that my owner was nice and kind. I hated to think about some of the stories that I heard about the other girls like me. I hated thinking about being exterminated because I made my owner unhappy. I thought to myself that I would try real hard to keep him happy. I remember the covenant of rules that would keep me and my owner happy. I would need to follow five rules. 1. Always obey my owner. 2. Always be available to my owner. 3. Never talk back. 4. Always agree with my owner. 5. I am not human so I cannot do human things. I wondered how pretty human women were. I was so nervous about my departure I nearly refused to leave my room. I could leave if there wasn’t anything wrong with me physically. I remember the den mother telling me not to do anything that would cause a refund or else I would be exterminated upon refund. My new owner had thirty days to return me. If he returned me and no one else was interested I would be exterminated. I would be killed because it would be thought that I was defective and no one would want a defective product.Terminé
If No One Else
𝟏𝟖+| I was said to be 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐝𝐚𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐝, 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐢𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞... 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐮𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. I had heard it so much in my life that it had manifested into a truth that remained rock solid in my brain. It consumed every surface of my body and mind like a deadly cancer It had become a promise to myself. A reminder. A standard. It was a rule applied to every person in my life, except him... He was the same as I was; no matter how different our outside identities were. We were cut from the same cloth on the inside. There was no denying that he and I were both broken souls left in a broken world. Both craving an eternal slumber before we met, but his darkness played so well with mine that suddenly it began feeling more like light, warmth, goodness... a happy ending. "...𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗶𝗳 𝗻𝗼 𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝘀 𝘀𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗶𝘁 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲... 𝗜 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂," --------------------------- Partying. That was the one thing Chandler did best, and everyone in town knew that. But when one of her parties get out of hand and the cops are called, she's in for a rude awakening as she comes face to face with the new guy in town: Officer Herrera. He's wasn't like the usual officers she dealt with, and she finds that out quite quickly as she gets dragged away to jail for the night. They both wish to never see each other again, but there was something stronger than their dislike for each other keeping them together. The stronger their dislike grows, the more attached they become, until the lines become so blurred that they can't tell the difference between hatred and love anymore. They could say they hated each other, but if anything, a small part of them knew it would turn into love. If that love would last once everything was revealed... It was only a matter of time before they found out. ----
You don't know me
⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ Not for the faint of heart, I explore dark parts of my mind and unfurl them for your own enjoyment. All of these stories are true. You don't know me, and you're never going to. This is basically just a shitty diary of my life with very few details as to who I am, Don't want to scare you off. Feel free to read but I don't really care. I'm just a screwed up guy that everyone knows and nobody cares about really. If you can't tell I'll probably swear quite a bit in this so if you don't like that I'm sorry, but this really isn't a good read anyway it's just me complaining about the fact I still exist. Actually no, whilst I did start this to complain about my life, the stories are fluctuating, as I discover I am infact worthy of love, even I don't believe it at all times. I hope you enjoy my rantings. ⚠️ TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️
Save Me From The Scars Of Yesterday.
I'm broken beyond repair and yet... I still wish for someone to save the last pieces of me before I completely die away. I only have one wish... And that is for someone to see past the smiling facade... For someone to see through my bright smile... I want someone who will ask me even just for once... If I was alright... If I was okay... But no... Everyone sees no one else but the happy me. Even jealous of how much I was enjoying life... How mistaken they all are...Terminé
USER SERIES 1 Micah Rex: He's handsome, dangerous, reckless. An addict. When he walks into a room, people notice. People are scared of him, people don't look him in the eye. AJ Ferro: She's cute, nice respectful. A helper. When she walks in a room, people usually get flowers. People love her, people want to be her friend. Despite her cheery nature and soft words AJ has never had it easy when it came to addiction -or depression. Without his addiction, sadness and anger Micah doesn't know who he is -and he hates not knowing things. And, of all places, they meet at a rehab center. He looked at her and saw a peppy girl with no future. She looked at him and saw a troubled boy with a bad past. Micah wants to die, AJ wants him to live. It's only a matter of time before one of them breaks through or breaks the other. - I was 12 the first time I took a hit off a joint at a party, smoked a blunt by myself and bought a bong. I was 13 when I started drinking alcohol for fun. 14 the first time I took ecstasy at a college party I snuck into, the same age I lost my virginity. This was the first time I went to a mental institution because it's also the year I first tried to kill myself. 15 the first time I smoked meth, took a bump of cocaine, shot myself up with heroine. This was the first time I got sent to rehab, it didn't work and I came out worse. I was 16 when I tried to commit three times in the same year, the last time I got my heart to stop for 30 seconds. That year was also the first time I snorted Hydrocodone, getting me started in opiates, I experimented with Xanax and liked it. And I was a month from 17 when I got sober. - "Fuck you." I snap. "You already have." Micah bites out. "And I'm pretty fucking sure you liked it too, if your orgasms were anything to go by." - "I want-" Micah stopped, running his fingers through his hair. "Never mind what I want. What do you want?" His voice is quieter now, more gentle. "You."
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