Over the past 60 standards, travelling through space, I've made more than my fair share of stories. In my final years I've decided to publish the diaries I wrote from my adventures. Within these pages, I will confirm some stories and refute many others.
Many of my tales have only ever been told by those who've only heard whispers of my name. Now it is my turn to tell the truth that has been so badly warped over time. Yes, I did turn to piracy; no, I did not beat the emperor of Sumii-6 in a hotdog eating contest (spoilers: he cheated); and many others.