Story cover for Just the Feeling by beYOUtiful1029
Just the Feeling
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Ongoing, First published Mar 06, 2016
High school ng makilala kita. 
High School ng una ko itong maramdaman. The strange feeling whenever I'm with you, whenever I see you with someone else. 
Inakala kong wala lang ito dahil sa murang edad natin pero bakit hanggang ngayon ganun pa rin ang nararamdaman ko.

 Bakit hanggang ngayon hindi nawala, nadagdagan pa lalo ang nararamdaman ko. I should just hate you because of what you've done pero kasi nangingibabaw ang nararamdaman ko. 
My mind says I should hate you but the heart says no. how I miss how we used to be. How I miss your smile, your laugh, your sweet gesture, your hugs, your care, your everything. I miss everything about you. 

Pero kahit na pabalikin ako sa nakaraan yun pa rin ang magiging desisyon ko. It's for the better maraming naging magandang bagay nung nasira kami. Whatever what happened, I may find another man pero ang pag mamahal ko sakanya ay hindi mawawala. You cannot unlove someone else maybe your love for that someone will change but you never unlove him. 

It's just the feeling
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Labing-anim na taon na ang lumipas, hindi ko parin alam anong tawag sa kung anong meron sa aming dalawa. I can't even say we're friends. Kaibigan siya ng kaibigan ko. Kakilala? Kapit-bahay? Dating schoolmates? The list goes on but inside my head, there's something more between us than being simply acquainted. Special connection? Every after four years kasi, may nangyayaring importante sa buhay kong konektado sa kanya. Pure coincidence? Maybe. Baka nagkataon lang talaga at hindi gawa ng tadhana. 2010, 2014, 2018, 2022. . . tapos ngayong 2026. Bakit lumilitaw siya sa mundo ko kada apat na taon? May schedule ba siyang sinusunod? Destiny ba o free will? Like desisyon niya talagang magtago at magpakita sa'kin kung kailan niya gusto? No matter what it's called, there's one thing that's constant every time I see him. My feelings. Pakiramdam na hindi ko maipaliwanag hanggang ngayon. Emosyon na hindi ko mapangalanan. Kung kailan nagsimula, 'di ko na tanda. Literal na nakatitig lang ako sa kanya isang araw tapos napagtanto ko nalang na parang may nag-iba. I know it's not love-or is it? Attraction lang ba? Harmless crush? Ewan. Basta kapag nakikita ko siya, my feelings get swayed. Some unknown force tugs my heartstrings. I always find myself being pulled towards him. Nang muli kaming nagkita sa taong ito, parang biglang gusto kong alamin kung ano ba talaga 'tong nararamdaman ko. Gusto kong pangalanan. I-explore. Bigyan ng chance na mag-flourish. Seeing him again made me wonder na Oo nga, bakit hindi nalang kaming dalawa? ***
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Healing is such a long process to do. You will start to ask why things didn't turn out the way you wanted. You will start to ask when did the things start to go wrong. You will start to ask what will you do to get up and how will you complete yourself again. There are so many questions in life that you will start to seek for answers whenever you are on this process. I, honestly, don't know what happened to my life. I am rich. I have everything that I need in my life. But, why did I end up this way? Why did I end up being the most pathetic and broken person that I've ever known? All I want is just a pure love- a true love. A love that will be with me for the rest of my life. All I want is just that simple thing... But why can't I have it? Love is scary. The first and last time that I experienced it, I broke myself; I lost myself in the midst of loving someone. That's why I told myself that I won't ever take a risk again when it comes to love. I will never love anyone again. I will never open my heart again to anyone. But what if I'll meet the man that will help me to open my heart? The man that will show me how does true love really feels like? Am I going to take risk? Am I going to open my heart for him? Or I'll just keep myself a prisoner of my own past? Can I really trust him? Or he's just another walking nightmare? That's why I asked him if he can see my broken heart?