TOO SHY BUT I DON'T KNOW WHY?

Many years ago.. When I studied in school,I was a real shy and not so confident guy but I don't know why. I never actually had any guts to go out there and make new friends. People made fun of me as I was alone. Years passed by and I turned into a high school guy who was high and good looking. I grew into a young and fair boy but the things were never changed for me. I used to be alone but I don't know why. I had only handfull of friends but deep inside I was all alone. All I was looking for was someone whom I can trust, someone who can love me unconditionally, but, nothing magical as such happend at that time though. Soon lonliness was not bearable so I started feeling suicidal as I found no other go. I also believed that I don't have anyone to cry after I die.