Famous People of 2100

Behold the records of the greatest happenings in the 22nd Century! As a historical source, this book is 100% accurate and completely unbiased in every way. (It's totally not censored! Why would you think that?!)
A series of satires taking modern-day events (particularly pop culture) to the extreme.
WARNING: this story uses extreme sarcasm to make a point. It will probably make you really angry. If you can't handle that, don't read this. You have been warned, so you have zero excuses for freaking out.