Happy
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WpMetadataReadMatureOngoing5m
WpMetadataNoticeLast published Thu, Jun 27, 2013
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Fiction
Romance
I was drowning in depression, pain, guilt, shame. I was poisoning myself daily. I was in a world of dizziness and giggles and colors, away from my insecurities and self-hatred. And I was fine with this. But then, he came along. He jumped into my life when I was least expecting it, but when I was most needing it. And now I'm not sure if I'm okay with my life the way it is. Addiction is defeating, and love is strong, as two desires battle to consume me.
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"There comes a point where you no longer care if there's a light at the end of the tunnel or not. You're just sick of the tunnel." - Who I am doesn't matter. How I got here doesn't matter. What matters now is I'm getting help, right? That's what they tell me here. They tell me that the road to recovery feels like a terrible butt fuck, but the fact that you're on the path to begin with, is all that matters. So as I sit in this circle of fuck ups, I realize just how different I am from them. I didn't attempt suicide because my mother was a crack addict who didn't want me. My father wasn't abusive. I didn't have a sibling die in a car accident. I was never really bullied either. I attempted suicide because, for the first time in years, I thought I had found something that could make me feel again... and after not feeling much at all for far too long, perhaps I went a bit overboard

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