Story cover for Happy? by _kitteh_18
Happy?
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Concluida, Has publicado mar 09, 2016
Contenido adulto
Absolutely everything is going great I'm finally happy the voices stopped talking I woke up and was excited I saw my mom today and she told me she missed me and hug me so tight she told me I made her proud and her cancer is getting a lot better I'm finally with my whole family were all happy and no one is trying to kill each other or me I feel good about myself they don't make fun of me and they don't put me down and they said they love me and they will never leave me again and they care about me and how I feel and all my friends remember me and care about me and the constant fear of not being good enough or depressed stopped I can't feel it anymore and I don't feel insecure I felt great and the insane feeling stopped I can be around a lot of people I don't know and be ok  I was happy to be alive there was finally something to look up to...
Then I woke up.
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Loneliness. Depression. Broken. Scared. Devastated. Hopeless. Mournful. Disheartening. Bleak. Joyless. Somber. I have no one. Depression and Loneliness are the only things I feel. My family tries to make me happy, but I just put on a fake smile and cry about it in my room. They act like everything is alright, but everything is not. They KNOW I was devastated about Mom's murder. They KNOW I was heartbroken about Dad's sickness that eventually killed him. That's all I've thought about. Devastation and heartbroken. Just because of those two things. Never in my life I have been this devastating. Dayton, Hayden, Angel, or Monica know how to make me truly happy. Not even my own siblings know how to make me show a real smile. Suicide is all I can think about day to day and I've almost died because of that. DEPRESSION IS A REAL THING. NO ONE KNOWS HOW I FEEL EVERYDAY. NO ONE CAN JUDGE OTHERS ABOUT DEPRESSION OR EVEN MAKE JOKES ABOUT IT BECAUSE ITS A REAL THING. DEPRESSION HAS KILLED PEOPLE. EVERYONE IN MY LIFE JUDGES ME JUST BECAUSE I DON'T SMILE, LAUGH, HUG, OR DO ANYTHING NORMAL PEOPLE DO. I CUT MYSELF, I CRY, I YELL, I VENT, I PUSH PEOPLE OUT OF MY LIFE. Those are the things people are worried about me. "Go kill yourself and join your parents in hell." They say and I just shrug it off and find a private place to hide and cry it out. "I CAN'T DEAL WITH LIFE ANYMORE!!!!" I say and I use my sharp nails and cut myself then cry some more. A gun is buried within my arm for defense from my dad, but I use it in case I am tired of society. Then that's when I met the Host Club. They saw my sadness and made me a part of it to repay my debt for accidentally breaking a vase. I am now a Host for men to flatter them, but how can normal guys want me to be a Host when I wear lip earrings, eyeliner, chains, and have a gun in my arm? I'm the definition of Hell. Then he made me smile again, something that I thought I would never get back. Happiness.
An Unexpected Moment de caromerri
42 partes Concluida
... that changes everything Sarah was starting her junior year of high school. Looking at herself in the mirror, she saw a pretty average blonde haired, blue eyed, teenager. She was neither in the popular group, nor one of the many cliched outsiders. Sarah was a nobody. She liked to blend in and lay low. It was her way out of not only this town, but her house. No one knew it, but her father was a high functioning alcoholic that often took his anger out on his family. With her older sister now in college, it had turned to her more often. Laying low in general was a good strategy. Across town, Ryan was prepping for his final year in high school. While he wasn't the stereotypical quarterback of the football team, he did fit into the popular crowd. His sports of choice included basketball and soccer, either of which might line him up for a scholarship next year. Ryan had a group of close friends and a lot of adoring acquaintances. It wasn't easy juggling his athletics and keeping the grades up, but he was just that good. The supporting parents didn't hurt either. It might be a cliché romance, but it will be fun to see what the year and beyond holds. ------------------------------------------ This is a story I wrote years ago, or at least partially wrote. As I transcribe it here, I have tried to update it a bit and give the characters/story more depth than what I had when I was younger. Hopefully it all gets pulled together!
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Your suicide? Oh please, daddy. That didn't change me. I'm only trying to please you, trying to be perfect. And trust me, I've achieved perfection. I ran my school. If there was a crown, I'd be wearing it. I had all the guys on top of me, all the insecure little nitwits wrapped tightly around my finger. We still have your money, so I'm rich, gorgeous, thanks to your wonderful features, my dear father, and I was popular. I was perfect beyond belief. Now you; your secret still horrifies me. Why did you take your life? Your family so dearly loved you. I will find out, just for you, and so that you will say that I'm perfect in every which way as you watch down on me. Or up at me, whatever side of your wonderful personality the Lord took. However, my father, there is this new kid. I can't seem to remember his name. He's the silent type, perfect prey for my friends and I. But he's different. In fact I have made a deal with him. He'll help me solve your mystery, daddy, on one condition; I change my ways. He's such a joke, a cute joke. Oh what must I be saying, he's absolutely insane. I don't need to change my ways, I'm perfect. If anything, I should be helping him. Oh I remember now, father. Aiden. Aiden is trying to perfect me. What a laugh, isn't it? Perfecting something that's already perfect.