Dead To Be~Chapter 1

Dead To Be~Chapter 1

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Sun, Mar 13, 2016
Amber stood there breathless, shocked at the words at which just came out of her mouth. "I'm sorry.." she whispered under her breath. Tears slowly streamed down her face as she thought about everything that has happened. She fell slowly to the floor, with a knife in the other hand. She stared at it blank faced unsure what to do next. Visions ran through her brain as she pulled the knife closer and closer to her chest. As she pushed the knife closer to her heart, she could hear a small voice in the distance. "Sissy?" the small voice asked opening the door slightly. "Lilly.. Not the time. Please go away." she said dropping the knife. "But sissy I-" she said opening the door more. And when she did, she saw the knife in Amber's hand. "Sissy? What's that..?" she asked starting to cry. "I SAID GO AWAY!" Amber yelled suddenly regretting everything that had just followed. The small child ran out slamming the door. The only expression Amber had on her face was the what-have-I-just-done-? look. She picked up the knife and threw it across the room. She then slowly began to sink to the floor. Her eyes started to fill up with small tears that only grew larger. She covered her face with her hands and began to mumble to herself. "Why can't I just be normal? Why do I always mess everything up?" Her mother came slowly up the stairs. Amber picked herself up and hid the knife under her bed. She then covered it up with a blanket. Unfortunately, the knife had sliced a small part into her foot. She ached in pain. Her mother came in the door. "Sweetheart!" she began. Amber slowly sat up, with the knife peeking from under her bed. Her mother could see the tears that ran down her face. "What's wrong?" She asked with a comforting smile. "Oh mom, it's nothing." she said with a slight bit of worry. "I just hurt myself, that's all." Her mother looked relieved. "Thank god, I thought something terrible had happened!"
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After leaving the BAU without a word to anyone but Hotchner, Addy went back to the only home She'd ever known, Brookes memorial. Hospitals were for healing after all, weren't they? After spending a month recovering physically while wallowing in her mothers bed, Addy finally got back to work, saving people, the only thing she knew how to do in the hopes she could save herself. After three months of silence with the team, with Spencer, in the middle of surgery she looks up to see his face in the gallery watching. Deep down, knowing it's time she seeks him out to set the records straight, because what else can you do? "I swear I didn't know you were working here again. We uh, we had a case. I was looking for an Intern and I just thought I'd watch for a minute when I saw it was you." He put his head down barely looking at me, like he couldn't look at me. "You look like shit." I sighed watching his head perk a bit. "Thanks, I appreciate the observation." He was definitely being sarcastic. He just sounded off. "How's JJ? The baby okay?" His head shot up staring at me confused a moment before speaking. His entire body seemed to tense up. "Did Emily tell you about it?" I just shook my head. "No, JJ did. I'm happy for you two, really I am. If you're busy with a case I'll leave you alone, I just thought maybe we could talk." I put my head down going to turn away before I felt his hand on my arm. "Addy, I, I just don't understand, why didn't you just talk me?" I sighed taking his wrist in my hand and walking him silently to an on call room. Once the door was closed I watched him sit down on the chair hanging his head in his hands. "I was hurt Spencer, actually no, I was devastated." I watched his face change as my pager went off stopping me from continuing. "Shit, Spence I have to go, someone is coding."

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