Sadistic Romantic

There's not much here that I can see. I can only see a dreary plodding pointlessness in front of me. I can't see for sure, but I know behind my eyes that my life won't add up to much. The way I act, the way I feel, the way I will never change, it all adds up to that fact that the only way she needs me...

Is dead.

If I'm dead, I don't have to worry about my life getting in the way of me helping her. I can walk through her house without anyone seeing me, I can tell her I love her without her really knowing who's speaking, because we all know that I'd be too shy to really say my feelings unless they were anonymous. That's it- I'm not really dying, not really, I'm just coming to her in a way that will be better for both of us.