Assertiveness The Right Way of Being!

Assertiveness is the ability to formulate and communicate one's own thoughts, opinions and wishes in a clear, direct, and non-aggressive way. It is the ability to express oneself and one's rights without violating the rights of others. The ability to be assertive is an asset which is necessary to achieve worthwhile aims and impose some order and justice in one's environment.

It would be good to understand here the difference between assertive behavior and other types of behavior. Aggressiveness means that one expresses one's own rights but at the expense of degrading, or humiliating another individual whereas submissiveness means that one is just unable to express one's rights and keeps compromising the self, leaving one with feelings of humiliation, guilt and dissatisfaction.

Thus the types of responses that one can give in a situation are different. Let us take a look at the types of responses and what they would mean:Assertiveness

• Submissiveness: I lose-You win
• Aggressiveness: I win-You lose
• Assertiveness: I win-You win

Thus one would understand that 'When you communicate assertively, you are more likely to achieve your goal without becoming involved in a conflict with the other person which then leads one to the I win-You win position'.

Let us explore some which may be the impediments that may not be allowing you to assert yourself:

1. Fear of change.
2. Refusal to admit one's submissiveness.
3. Fear of ruining relationships if you speak your mind.
4. Lack confidence in your ability.

Dealing with the following before you embark on the journey towards transformation is important:

1. Deal with the anxiety associated with change.
2. Reconcile the conflicts within your value system.
3. Assess the repercussions of being assertive.
4. Prepare others for the changes they will see in your behavior or attitude.

Ms. Shital Ravi
Sr. Consulting Psychologist
Psychometrica
http://blog.psychometrica.in/assertiveness-the-right-way-of-being/