Me, Hell, And The Vortex Queen

This is a story. Well I mean that much was obvious seeing as how this a a place where all sorts of stories live. The only difference being that this isn't "Their" story or "His" or "Her" story; no see this one, this one is all mine and I'll be damned if anyone else is gonna tell it any way other than my way; you dig? You may ask yourself, "is it nonsensical?" At times, yes. "Does this guy tell a self aware narrative the whole time?" Oh you better believe it guy (or gal...or, you know...people in general and those in between). "Why am I reading this?" Good question, how about you try moving past this intro to find out...duh. If you didn't like my answers to any of those questions then take the twisted wad in your pants elsewhere, I have a story to tell. For those of you who are wad-free, please, by all means read on until you get sick of me or maybe until you actually finish hearing what I have to say. I'm cool with whatever really, so enjoy...No seriously, why are you still here, go start on chapter one already. Jeez, the nerve of some people, reading on past my instructions to go read the rest of this book...Christ.