The Challenge of Sin

Hey guyss ! "The Challenge of Sin" is a somewhat short story i wrote earlier in the year and its sort of blahh. So i posted most of the original story because i wanted your opinion on whether or not i should expand the story into a full book so that i could post new chapters every week c: i really like it but i've heard lots of mixed feelings from family and friends :x so i wanted to hear your opinions c: Please give me feedback and if it's a book you'd like read c: (I didn't post the ending because if you guys do want me to expand into a full book it'll kind of spoil the full book. So yeah cx)