Falling

I knew I was going to get hurt, but I guess I just took my chances. I wanted her and she wanted me, that's the thing that hurts the most. I hurt her, she changed but I still decided to tear her apart. I think when it's all over it just comes back in flashes, you know? memory after memory, it doesn't stop. It all comes back, but she never does.
I think part of me knew the second I saw her that this would happen, it really wasn't something she said or anything she did. It was the felling that came around with her and crazy thing is I don't know if I'm ever gonna feel that way ever again, but I don't know if I should.
I knew her world move too fast and shined too bright, but I just thought how can the devil look so much like an angel when she smiles at you, with those bright ocean blue eyes, and that laugh that makes your heart melt because you don't hear it too often. She had that feeling that she was going to make a mess out of you, you knew you were going to end up as shit, but you also got that feeling than nothing bad was going to happen to you as long that she was by your side.
I guess I just lost my balance, I guess the worst part wasn't loosing her, it was loosing myself. I got lost in those arms, that smile, those eyes, that laugh, her voice. I lost myself completely to her, but I also found myself, a part that I never knew I had in me.
I was a mess, I was in a mess and I had to get out that's why I did what I had to do. Hurt her, before she could hurt me even more. But I went too far, I teared her apart.
I felt like without her I was nothing, nobody could ever understand how much it hurts. I feel hopeless, like nothing could save me. It was over. She found someone and me, I was still nothing. I saw her again and nothing made me more sad than watching her be happy with someone else. Me and her where over, but when I watched her watch me I felt light and hope.