Mika has always been a little bit fucked up. He was trying - he really was, to make progress, to get better, fo find peace with his mind - his body. But it really is hard, especially when the one you fight against is yourself. It had always been hell to life in this body. Hhe has always pushed people away, but shit, he really needs someone to stay. (aka in which Mika only understood himself after destroying himself.)