FAT

"Why do you do this to yourself? You have everything: a father who loves you, friends, money, activities. I want to know why you threw it all away."

Why? You want to know why?

Step into a tanning booth and fry yourself for two or three days. After your skin bubbles and peels off, roll in coarse salt, then pull on long underwear woven from spun glass and razor wire. Over that goes your regular clothes, as long as they're tight.

Smoke gunpowder and go to school to jump through hoops, sit up and beg, and roll over on command. Listen to the whispers that curl into your head at night, calling you ugly and fat and stupid and bitch and whore and worst of all "a disappointment." Puke and starve and cut and drink because you don't want to feel any of this. Puke and starve and cut and drink because you need an anesthetic and it works.

For a while.

But then the anesthetic turns into poison and by then it's too late because you're mainlining it now, straight into your soul. It is rotting you and you can't stop.
Look in the mirror and find a ghost. hear every heartbeat scream that everysinglething is wrong with you.
"Why?" is the wrong question.
Ask "Why not?"

**TRIGGER WARNING**
This story contains the main character self harming herself, starving herself/anorexia, blood, depression, and dark thoughts.