My Name is Insecurity

Outside the door of the auditorium, there is a table with a girl standing behind it. "Hey!" she greets me kindly. No scowl. No sense of rudeness. She is not ignoring me! This must take some getting used to.

"Hi!" I reply back. "How can I get the ticket for the dance?"

"Well, you can pay over here. It is ten dollars. And after you buy it, just give it to me. I am supposed to be collecting and selling the tickets. Well, actually, mainly collecting. Last minute decision?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Okay. Well, you are free to go in and party!"

"Thanks," I reply. I am so scared. What is the music stops and everyone stares at me? What if people can tell who it is? What if-

"Aren't you going in?" the girl says, interrupting my thoughts. I nod, but I still have many negative thoughts in my head. What if I embarrass myself? What if everyone kicks me out? What if- I walk in, surprised to see that no one notices- no one cares? No one cares!

Why didn't anyone notice? Maybe they are all too busy dancing and eating and singing and talking over the music.

I walk over to the punch bowl. I am really thirsty.

"Oh!" I exclaim, because somebody has bumped into me.

"I am so sorry, are you okay?" some random guy turns around to face me and says.

"Oh I am alright," I think I say, because truthfully I am too busy looking into his dreamy blue eyes. Why do I allow myself to do this stuff?