My Name is Insecurity
- Reads 1,166
- Votes 141
- Parts 27
Ongoing32m
Last published Sun, Jan 29, 2017
Outside the door of the auditorium, there is a table with a girl standing behind it. "Hey!" she greets me kindly. No scowl. No sense of rudeness. She is not ignoring me! This must take some getting used to.
"Hi!" I reply back. "How can I get the ticket for the dance?"
"Well, you can pay over here. It is ten dollars. And after you buy it, just give it to me. I am supposed to be collecting and selling the tickets. Well, actually, mainly collecting. Last minute decision?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Okay. Well, you are free to go in and party!"
"Thanks," I reply. I am so scared. What is the music stops and everyone stares at me? What if people can tell who it is? What if-
"Aren't you going in?" the girl says, interrupting my thoughts. I nod, but I still have many negative thoughts in my head. What if I embarrass myself? What if everyone kicks me out? What if- I walk in, surprised to see that no one notices- no one cares? No one cares!
Why didn't anyone notice? Maybe they are all too busy dancing and eating and singing and talking over the music.
I walk over to the punch bowl. I am really thirsty.
"Oh!" I exclaim, because somebody has bumped into me.
"I am so sorry, are you okay?" some random guy turns around to face me and says.
"Oh I am alright," I think I say, because truthfully I am too busy looking into his dreamy blue eyes. Why do I allow myself to do this stuff?
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Run, Fight, Repeat
" I lunge forward at him hitting his groin with my knee then right between the eyes. As soon as I do, he crashes to the ground, out cold. I go for more, but a pair of arms snatch my waist lifting me up. I kick my legs and flail my arms to get closer but he is too strong. "Let go of me!" I demand. "Shut up." A low strong voice commands."Is he okay?" "He is fine." I grunt. Then the young adult wakes up, then scurries back away from me. "Sorry ma'- miss... " he says, making me angry again. I give him a cold stare. "I'm sorry." He repeats, standing to his feet. "Put. Me. Down." I demand again. With a huff he puts me down. I step forward with full intentions to punch him again but the man behind me takes my arm, holding me back. I jerk forward to get off his grip but he takes my other arm tightly. "Alright! I'm done! I'm done!" I huff in defeat. " This story follows Astrid, a 26 year old female who ran away from home 10 years ago. The only reason she has come back was to get away from the hole she dug her self into. She is running away from her problems again. Life before she ran away wasn't as nice as the public saw it- the sherif's family, happy, and loving. Behind the doors it was orders being barked left and right with no warning or break. Not wanted to deal with this anymore, Astrid ran. On her voyage out, she ran into some trouble that seemed all fine until it wasn't. She comes back home and everything is all fine and dandy until, "Unknown: You thought you could hide forever? I found you, and I can find your friend, Nicole. If you want her safe, you'll be at the ring in an hour." Since Astrid's leave, the town suddenly had a motorcycle gang that hangs around, not realling doing anything in particular, but the sherif doesn't trust them much. Damon being the head of the gang, keeps everything they do quiet. When these two meet up there is obious tention and immediate hatred. ***EDITING TWs: Controling dad, violence, abuseComplete
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Someone walks into the room but I cannot see its face. It looks like a man and by the look of his posture, he seems very important. "Why were you in my territory?" His voice is strangely calm however I think its the calm before the storm. "I didn't know it was your territory! For gods sake how many times do I have to tell you people? Just let me go and I promise I won't say anything to anyone. Not like I have anyone to tell." The last part I said in a whisper. He didn't need to know the situation I was in. I hear the cock of a gun making me raise my head. The all too familiar sound ringing in my ears. "I don't believe you bitch, so you better tell me the truth or your brains are gonna end up on the wall." Ah there's the storm. "A gun doesn't scare me arsehole, I've had way worse things than that!" He steps forward into the light so I can see his features. He is extremely good looking but right now is not the right time to admire his beauty. I stare straight into his pitch black eyes, daring him to try harder than this. He smirks and leans forward searching my eyes. Before I can even register what's happening, he punches me in the face. *** Mature ContentComplete
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C̺͆O̺͆M̺͆P̺͆L̺͆E̺͆T̺͆E̺͆D̺͆ Started ~ October 27, 2020 Ended ~ January 30, 2021 ~ Started editing ~ March 11, 2021 End Editing ~ April 27, 2021 ******************* "Funny" his laugh was so dry and sickening, my stomach was doing flips "Tessa Loset" he growled, this time I looked at him in shock "W-w-What di-d you c-call me?" I stutter "You thought you could move here and I wouldn't find out who you were?" He cocked his head to the side walking closer to me, as I started backing up "You thought you could hide the fact that she's my kid?" He pointed to the house "She's not y-your-s" I stutter more and my back hit the door as he climbed my steps "Don't lie to me now Lesy" he mocked using my old nick name. He grow closer and I started freaking out all over again ************ Tessa went back home. Her parents passed and left the house to her. She took up the offer and moved from Texas to Montana. When she got there she met a girl who led to meeting her old lover from high school. As soon as the words hello came from his mouth she knew she still had feelings for him, but she needed to stay far away from him. If that was even possible considering she's now best friends with his best friends little sister. And they both are street racers. And he's more then just a street racer though. What's gonna happen when their worlds come crashing into each other at full speed?Complete
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I squeezed my way through the abundant number of people, trying to get to the exit. I bumped into a lot of shoulders, until I found an opening. As soon as the door was in my sight, I heard Jessie calling out my name. Her voice grabbed my attention, and I briskly turned around. I knocked right into a tall figure, causing me to lose my balance and fall. All the people dancing blocked my vision so I couldn't grab onto anything to prevent myself from falling. My arms met the hardwood floor as I tried to catch myself, sending a shock of pain through my arms. "Forgive me ma'am." Someone said while extending an arm down to me. "It's fine. No harm was-" ✰ Status: FInished NOTE*** This story contains mental illness and suicidal themes. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION! ***and mild cussing My grammar probably sucks I researched thoroughly on bpd to portray Damien's character correctly but I'm sorry if it's not accurate. I in no way meant for the portrayal of someone with a borderline personality disorder to be represented wrong or only seen from stereotypes. ★ Best Rankings ★ Assault- #1 Borderlinepersonalitydisorder- #1 Bpd- #8 Captive- #44 Selfharmawareness- #55 Darklove- #57 Mentalillness- #81 Copyright © 2020Complete
"You forgot? Right?" I asked, more like whispery. I am really trying my best not to ask, but it suddenly came out without me realizing it. "It's our 100th day today, Bae." I don't intend on looking back up where she is, since I don't want to expect more, to see the reaction and was really trying my best to avoid her gaze. She didn't respond, She must've been so surprise. So, from that, I straightly and directly looked up and see what she's up to. Unfortunately, it was a wrong move. I saw it. I saw how her reaction change. From a relax one to a surprise one. You see, eyes can't lie. "N- No. No. It's just that- - - - " "It's okay." I tried to sound okay. I even smiled to assure her. But, you can't just feel okay, when you know, at any minute my tears might fall. When she did not respond, I kept quiet and continued eating. It's tiring when you know, you put effort to all this and yet you can feel from that person was the opposite expressions of what you expected. Expectations really isn't good at all. "Are you okay?" She was about to touch me but my body acted on its own, I move backward. Seeing her this close and that pity look in her eyes makes my heart breaks and offended even more. "We don't really talk now, why are you curious now?" I can't help myself but answer in sarcasm. This setting is really tiring and obviously new to me. I can't recognize and get a hold of myself, and any moment now I might burst out, right now, right here. I don't even really care now if the camera is actually recording us. I felt the need to go somewhere. I need space to breathe. I need to walk away from her now because I know when it hurts , I can't control my feelings let alone my stupid self. "Excuse me! I need to use the restroom." She nodded without tearing her eyes off me. And, that's my que to walk away. No turning back this time. It may look disrespectful but I can't pretend that everything is okay and it doesn't hurts me at all.
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