Always Trying

Always Trying

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WpMetadataReadMatureComplete Wed, Apr 6, 2016<5 mins
I always try and I try some more I end up sighing and on the floor I deserve the comfort of laying in bed because my heart is always hurting there's always pain in my head over thinking is my special trait getting worse after every debate what should I do what should I say slowly feeling like I'm slipping away why am I the only one trying why am I the only one crying you say the things you say but in reality your just lying if you truly cared why aren't you still here if you truly cared for me why didn't you ever make me lose my fear I was scared of losing you but I was never scared of losing myself now I feel like my story finished being written time to put it on the shelve with the rest of my thoughts I keep locked up
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My life has always been terrible. I was always bullied at school. I don't know why, it just seemed that people didn't like my presence. The guys would beat me up and I'd get in trouble when I defended myself, for the teachers never saw what they did. The girls would trick me, making me think they liked me and laughing at me because of it. I was always in the principle's office for one reason or another, but I wasn't a bad student. I actually got really good grades. To make matters worse, my mother wanted nothing to do with me. She'd lock me in the basement, sometimes for days, with no food or warmth. My father would then sneak down and beat me before raping me. So, naturally, I wanted to die. But, for some reason, I can't die. No matter what I do, I can't stay dead. The thing I want more than anything is far out of my reach. Why can't I just die? Warning: mention of rape, suicide, and abuse. Also, this is a boy's love story.

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