Not Me

I gave you two chooses, trust me with your feelings or lose me forever. You said you love me more then anything but you chose to lose me forever. Apparently you weren't over the guy that always hurts you in ways no one could imagine. Why did you choose to lose me for ever? I did nothing but love you. I loved you I still do I never stop. Your depressed and self arming yourself and I'm depressed doing the same thing to myself but your the only one person that kept me from hurting myself. But now your gone and I have no one now nothing to live for. You took every inch of love I had left and you pushed it in father in me then I could imagine to the point it will never come back. If I had a choose to shut off my humanity I would shut it off immediately do it. I wouldn't even hesitate. You have no idea how much I love yo. All of a sudden I stop thinking about you. I decided to take a hot shower. I'm sitting in the middle of the shower letting the hot water hit me. I'm crying I can't stop crying about you. I pick up a razor and blood is every where in the bath tub. My arms and thighs won't stop bleeding then I get out of the shower. The cuts stop bleeding then I'm still crying but not because the cuts hurt it's because I lost you. The cuts actually takes the pain away a little by little. The more I think about you is more I want to cry and die. Not having you in my life is like having a million needles hitting my heart a thousand times making it shatter. All I wanted is for you to choose me for a person you trust but guess what you didn't. All I have to remember you by is the neckless and our messages together. I lost you and now I can't get you back. It's hard to see you and hang out with you because all I want to do is to hold you and never let you go.
THE END