Barely alive - Ravenclawzie - Wattpad

Story cover for Barely alive by Ravenclawzie

Barely alive

Reads 1,030
Votes 41
Parts 40
Time 1 hour, 32 minutes

Reads 1,030
Votes 41
Parts 40
Time 1 hour, 32 minutes

Mature

abuse adventure anxiety bulimia danger depression eatingdisorder funny harm horror ptsd self thriller triggerwarning voice

Sometimes do you just want to escape? Run from everything you hold dear to you. For me that isn't an option. I'm trapped inside my own prison. My own mind...my own story. But hey it could be worse. So enough dawdling let's get this party started...All Rights Reserved

abuse adventure anxiety bulimia danger depression eatingdisorder funny harm horror ptsd self thriller triggerwarning voice

Table of contents

40 parts

Sign up to add Barely alive to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Locked In by MichaelaCilley

You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.

Help Me (sequel to Save Me) by aliyssaa

SEQUEL TO SAVE ME! TRIGGER WARNING!! 'But recovery isn't easy. If it was, everyone would do it.' TW - depression, Suicide mentions, self harm mentions, rape recovery, anxiety, panic attacks, PTSD, eating disorders. NOT. YOUR. TYPICAL. LOVE. STORY.

Voices in My Head by Nerounin

Pain. Agonizing pain. That's all I feel. Voices. Whispering voices. That's all I hear. I hear them over and over inside of my head. I can't escape. I can't fight back. This is my life. This is my story. And if you can give me your time, I'll tell it to you. *Warning: contains themes of selfharm and mental disorders **Completed as of 7/30/18

Mark of the Wolf (mxm) by Forever_Be_Loved

Alone. Naked. Cold. Covered in blood that is just as likely to be mine as someone else's. I don't know who I am, where I am, or what I'm running from. All I get are flashes, snippets of dark shadows, sneering faces. Pain always follows these nightmares, these memories. I was found, taken in, but I have no way of knowing if I only escaped the frying pan just to jump into the fire. I don't understand these people, these wolves. They don't understand me, either. Our words mean nothing to each other, they're no more than sounds. We use gestures, facial expressions, body language like the beasts we seem to be. I can only pray these beasts are not the same ones I'm running from. -This story has depictions of violence, depression, panic attacks, gore. Please read at your own discretion- Highest rankings thanks to all of you wonderful readers! : #2 in "Ice" #3 in "Werecat" #18 in "Loss" #19 in "Neko"

𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 𝐀𝐛𝐲𝐬𝐬 • 𝐅𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐄𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 • 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 by bellethewinebae

Areston thinks he can shield me from his past, but what he doesn't realize is I'm already part of it. The darkness that haunts him? It's the same one that's been chasing me for years. I've given him everything-my body, my heart, my soul-and still, it's not enough. He craves control, and needs to protect me, but I'm done playing the delicate wife. I'm done being kept in the dark while he fights battles that belong to both of us. He's mine, and I'll burn the world down to keep him just like he would do for me. But our secrets are dangerous. Our demons are circling, and if we're not careful, they'll tear us apart from the inside. We've been through hell together, but this is different. This time, it's not about surviving-it's about whether we can trust each other enough to fight for what we have. He's the love of my life, the man I'm addicted to, but in the end, will our love be enough to save us from ourselves? This explosive finale to The Scent Trilogy-where passion, obsession, and unrelenting loyalty collide, and no one walks away unscathed. Trigger Warnings: Consensual Non-Consent (CNC) Graphic Sexual Content Violence Psychological Manipulation Obsession/Stalking Toxic Relationships Dubious Consent Abuse (Emotional/Physical) Kidnapping/Captivity Mental Illness Anarchistic Themes Murder/Death Substance Abuse Self-Harm/Suicidal Ideation Childhood Trauma/Abuse Torture Sexual Degradation Blood/Violence in Sexual Context Power Imbalance/Authority Kink

Lost Memories by behind-the-mirror99

Who am I? Well damn, I sure would like to know. I have been locked away in this solitary confinement for so long, I have lost myself; I don't know who I am or why I am here and I need to find the truth. At last, after all this time, I'm going to get the answers I've always wanted...

Obey. by NeverBroken

!!!Warning: Is very triggering. Lots of detailed descriptions of abuse*** "The only way out is through." When your life turns into a nightmare and something really horrible happens to you, you believe while it's happening, someone is going to burst in any minute and save you, you picture a loved one or even a heroic stranger; anyone to help you. Just like in every movie, book or tv show. Any minute now, they would come... Unfortunately, in real life, that just doesn't happen. No one bursts in to save you. No one speaks up to stop the horror happening to you. The nightmare continues on uninterrupted and you're forced to live through it, every second, until it's done. And still no one bares witness. Only you, and the one hurting you. NOTE: this is for anyone who has been through trauma and felt trapped, almost enslaved to your abuser....knowing help would not come. And saving yourself was the only option.

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy by Beautiful_Tragedy8

CRINGE WARNING! First book I ever wrote on here!! -- "Sometimes the person who you are willing to take a bullet for is the person behind the gun." I stood peering over the cold lifeless body that lay before my eyes. I had always thought of death the enemy, but right now, I blessed it upon the person who is now at peace. Sometimes you don't need to be the smartest, or the fastest, but you do need to be wisest. They say the blood runs deeper than water, and I believe it, because even though the people that we love can turn on us and begin to hate us, they are only human, meaning that soon they will begin to see how short life really is and how it is not to be wasted. People who seem perfect and they look like they have no floors'; they are the people who are suffering, like I was. But I found my savior in the most uncommon place. He was able to look through my mask, he saw the cracks, and tried to fix the broken girl that hid away deep inside the girl who only wanted to be seen as 'fine'. I slowly began to find comfort and safety in him, and I did the same to him. We were two broken people becoming whole. Someone once said when you pass, if you can count your true friends on one hand you are beyond lucky, and I even though I did not like the person that lay before me, I know that he once had true friends, including me. I'm a 17 year old girl who has suffered more than any other, beginning to believe that 'Hope' was just another word the people throw around. Until I fell in love with a badboy. Trailer to the side -------------------> Made By @Laura__1 Cover made by @Beautiful_Tragedy8 Copyright 2014

Guardian (mxm) by Forever_Be_Loved

Book 2 in Stray Series. I know I'm not worthy of a second chance. I've taken away so many others' second chances. I took their lives in my hands and each time chose mine over theirs. It didn't matter who they were, if they had family, how old they were. I had a job to do. If I heard even a whisper, it was over. I had to. I didn't want to, but I had to. It didn't even matter in the end. She's gone now. I'm all alone. Somehow, for some reason, a second chance was bestowed on me. But I don't want it. I can't have it. And he knows it too. -This story has depictions of violence, SA, depression, panic attacks, gore. Please read at your own discretion- Highest rankings thanks to all of you wonderful readers! : #16 in "Shifter" #18 in "Loss" #24 in "Werewolf" #26 in "BoyxBoy"

Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed) by El3phant

When you're stuck inside a layer of skin you never asked for, what does the soul do? It cries out in poems and pictures, and words that have so much meaning to anyone if they look hard enough. It winces in pain every time the pen hits the paper and shouts in agony every time the mirror is reflected upon a burning face. This is a collection of me. My eating disorder, my depression, anxiety, my thoughts, my words, my pain. If you've ever wondered what it was like inside the mind of an anorexic, a bulimic, a chronically depressed woman, here is the answer. A memoir written by me. There is no specific order you should read this book. Choose a random chapter from the table of contents, and read. Take a little in, leave a little out. ****** There is a major trigger warning for almost every story in here. If you are sensitive to numbers, or ideas or anything of this matter, this book may not be for you.

Songs to show your parents by ShadowHawk42

These songs are for anyone who is struggling with mental health like depression, self harm, and eating disorders and is struggling to tell someone how their feeling, please don't judge, this is based on my own experiences so I know i can't really say what your struggling with but I know how hard it is to express to people what is going on inside your head, this is for anyone who wants to get help but doesn't know how to tell someone, if you want to talk or just need a distraction I'm here

Trapped Souls (Inside The Minds Of The Mentally Ill) by Tokimeki

This story is about dealing with many mental illnesses. The experiences of the mentally ill. How it feels to be in their mind, and feeling how they feel. Depression is not an act. Eating disorders aren't phases. Suicide isn't a coward's escape. Self-Harming is not a cry for attention. WARNING! This may be very triggering! Read with caution!!!! I did use a lot of quotes from online places, but a lot of it did come from my own (mentally ill) mind. I have been mentally ill for pretty much all of my life, and just started to get help, and realized that now I don't want help. This writing is for all of you that suffer from mental illnesses. I am terribly sorry if you get offended in any kind of way, again, read with caution.

BROKEN COURAGE (Lucas & Emilia Book 3) by ArianaClarkAuthor

While tortured and held captive as a prisoner of war, she became my reason to keep breathing. The force that fueled my will to fight. To survive. When I woke after the rescue to discover the life I thought I was coming home to was but a figment of my imagination, hallucinations brought about by pain, desperation, and isolation... it nearly broke me. Fifteen years since I first lost her, at last, we have a second chance. Holding her in my arms, finally feeling the warmth of her skin as she melts under my touch, is like a dream. She and her two little girls are now as essential to my existence as the air I breathe. However, just as things start falling into place, the universe steps in, threatening to take it all away. I used to think that choosing her cost me everything I'd ever loved, but now I see that in choosing her and her children, I have the chance to reclaim all that I lost. They are my salvation. My true path to redemption. Which is why I'll leave no stone unturned, why I will scorch this world to the ground if that's what it takes to save them. And when I do, I will fight to convince her once and for all they are meant to be mine, just as I was destined to be theirs. In the Broken Redemption Series, one man's vow to protect the woman he lost becomes a battle between redemption, forgiveness, and the kind of love that refuses to let go. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This is Book 3 of Lucas & Emilia's Broken Redemption arc, the emotional conclusion to their story. For the full journey, start with Book 1: Broken Vows.

Evading the wolves |18+ by imcrazyyourpoint

"I bandaged everything the best I could. It will need stitches. However, I'm afraid that it is broken. Same as your leg. Broken and needs stitches. How's your head feeling? I haven't been able to get that sucker to stop bleeding." His voice sliced through the air. I stare at him, confused, looking around, wanting to be anywhere but here. He clears his throat once again. "Mate, did you hear me?" "How is your head feeling?" I close my eyes. What the fuck? What the fuck? I was angry, annoyed, and frightened. What, mate? What cruel world would make me mate with a wolf? No, no, no... My arm and leg were throbbing intensely. My head was screaming. I brought my fingers up to my head to try and rub the pain away. I needed to leave. Now. I told myself. My mind is still groggy, unable to swiftly move my body like I need to. I didn't even notice I was crying until his voice rang through my ears once again. His footsteps quickly, walking across the hardwood floor. The first book in the series Not very good lol 😆 Completed, still needs editing though let me know what you think!

Black & White by ali_cher

A story, in which a typical teenage girl falls for the school's bad boy. Except, she's not that typical and he's not that much of a bad boy. *** "If I told you that I care about you, more than anyone in your life does, would you believe me?" He asked me, his jaw clenched. I could tell he was furious. Yet somehow, I wasn't scared of him. "No" I shook my head bravely. "If I told you,'' He tried again, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before continuing.''That you make me so fucking mad, I want to punch a fucking wall. What would you say?" He had me trapped now, my back painfully colliding with the wall behind me. I gasped at the impact, looking up into his icy grey eyes. They were cold, emotionless. As always. "Do it!" I dared him with the last ounce of courage I had left in me. The sound of his fist smashing through the wall right next to my head, made my ears ring for a brief moment. I opened my mouth to speak again, shaking slightly, only for him to pull away and leave me standing there alone. ____ !!Warning!! This story contains strong language, mature scenes, alcohol and drug consumption, and sensitive topics like - eating disorders, bullying, mental health, etc. ___ HIGHEST RANKINGS: 1st in #ed, 1st in #badboysgirl, 8th in #victim, 9th in #rehabilitation, 13th in #youngadult

Wild (mxm) by Forever_Be_Loved

Book 3 in Stray Series. I don't know what happened to me that night. I don't know how I, whatever I was now, came to be. Everybody who was there claims to have no knowledge of what really transpired, urging me to remain silent and secretive. I know they're lying to me, but I don't know why. I'm different from those around me, able to do and see and know things that they cannot. I seem to have a knack for being in the right place at the right time, of knowing what to do or say to fix the problem and help those around me. So why do I still feel so alone? Why do I feel so out of place? Why do I feel so hollow and empty? I can never seem to fill the ache in my chest regardless of what I do. I seem capable of helping everyone but myself. I searched, researched, scoured every source and talked with every knowledgeable creature I could find. But even still, no one knew how or why or what I am. Until I found him. -This story has depictions of violence, SA, depression, panic attacks, gore. Please read at your own discretion- Highest rankings thanks to all of you wonderful readers! : #5 in "Sparrow"

Shattered (Complete) #Wattys2019 by HanaSafaya

Re-posting. The common story is that finding a mate is supposed to make the wolf stronger. For an alpha, finding his mate, blessed by the moon goddess, strengthens the pack. But there can be such darkness hidden in that dynamic. Even those of cruel hearts can seek the power of a mate. And the damage they cause might not ever be healed. ***** Prologue: Drip. Drip. Drip. The rhythm or the water would have been soothing if it hadn't been so cruel. Drip. As it was, it was nothing more than a taunting form of torture. Drip. Ears could hear the soft thudding of raindrops at the end of the hall as a door was pulled open in squeaking protests and then shut with a harsh metallic clang. How the rain made its way into the depths of the cement room, it didn't matter. It was there. Drip. Step. Drip. Step. The footsteps were strong and full of purpose. Though just as unwanted as the drops of water that fell too far out of reach. Unable to quench the dehydrated desperation chained to the wall. Drip. Step. Drip. Step. Only one set of footsteps. There was no question of the destination or purpose that carried them down the hall. Not that it was a surprise. It was always the same. First the pain, then the visit. The cell door opened to darkness. There was no energy to move, not even enough to will eyelids to open. Not that it mattered. The visit never changed. What more could be said? What more could be done? All that mattered was that stale, barely edible food was only given after he was done. Only then, could there be any comfort from hell. ***** WARNING- This story does delve into topics of kidnapping, imprisonment, rape, murder, and violence. Though the scenes are not explicitly detailed, underage readers are discouraged. Also note that I do not own the rights to any photos I have or might post for this story. Just photos I found online, cropped and edited. The story however, is all mine. No copy of content is permitted.

My Life, My Story by emmaleadavis

My story. My life. You're only allowed to read this, ♡ if you won't judge ♡ make any nasty rude comments ♡ if you know me, won't look at me any differently, nor pity me. 🚫Warning 🚫 Contains: weight/numbers, self-harm etc. Read at your own risk. I just want to share my story with the world.

Self-Destruction by Neko_Noelle

Fake a smile, No one knows you're broken. Fake a smile, it's easier than trying to explain why you're sad. Fake a smile, lie and say you're fine, it's easier then trying to explain why you do what you do. Quotes, Stories, Entries and Poems about what it's like to be depressed, alone, suicidal etc...

You may also like

Slide 1 of 19

Locked In cover

Help Me (sequel to Save Me) cover

Voices in My Head cover

Mark of the Wolf (mxm) cover

𝐃𝐞𝐯𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐁𝐲 𝐀𝐛𝐲𝐬𝐬 • 𝐅𝐢𝐟𝐭𝐡 𝐀𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐮𝐞 𝐄𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 • 𝐁𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐓𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 cover

Lost Memories cover

I Fell in Love with a Bad Boy cover

Guardian (mxm) cover

Mind of The Disordered- A Memoir (Completed) cover

Songs to show your parents cover

Trapped Souls (Inside The Minds Of The Mentally Ill) cover

BROKEN COURAGE (Lucas & Emilia Book 3) cover

Evading the wolves |18+ cover

Black & White cover

Wild (mxm) cover

Shattered (Complete) #Wattys2019 cover

My Life, My Story cover

Self-Destruction cover

Locked In

You don't believe me anyways. You don't see me throwing away my inhibitions or filling up my online shopping cart. You don't see me diving into new life goals and careers and areas of study. You don't see my cry to myself in the car when my chest sinks in and my head gets crushed in a vice. You don't feel the panic in my stomach whenever I must make human contact. And you sure don't see how hard I try. How I wake up every morning and apply my mask. My work mask- to conceal all of this. But.... It's been the same mask for many years And my mask is wearing thin. My sadness, my anger, my paranoia and grand euphoria are trying to become a part of your world too. A world where it's not welcome. A world where it's not understood, where it's frowned upon.