Scoring on the Soccer Chick

Lexi is a badass soccer player. She has family problems, girl issues and to top it off, some mystery guy won't leave her alone. "How the hell did this happen?", I asked him. "I don't know but now we can spend all day alone," he chuckled. "Hell no!", I shouted. The two of us were somehow locked in the janitor's closet at school and as far as I could tell, we weren't getting out any time soon. "You need to relax," he said. "Relax?! I'm going to miss soccer practice you idiot!", I screamed. "Exactly. Now instead of you scoring the goals, I can finally score you," he said. I think I'm going to be sick.