dysphoria;
- Reads 81
- Votes 4
- Parts 5
Ongoing35m
Last published Wed, Oct 19, 2016
dysphoria;
a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life.
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"NOTHING!" I screamed tearing down the last bit of pictures, thumb tacks and pins were cutting my hands but I felt nothing. I glanced around my room looking for other things I could take my agony out on. My knees grew weak and I fell on the photos littering my floor, and I just laid there. the pain moving through my whole body as if it were my blood. I closed my eyes just letting the feeling consume me, and at some point my tired eyes closed.
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The room was pitch black but I could still see his handsome face. And even if I were put in a crowd and blindfolded, I would still be able to find him. His musky scent wafted across the bed to my nose. My favorite scent in the world. His eyes were on my face and I stared back. It felt like we were communicating with our eyes. Mine was saying "why won't you love me back?" and I was sure that his was saying "why is this dork staring at me?". At the sad thought I closed my eyes and took solace in the silence in the room, calming my raging emotions and fighting the threatening tears. I was half successful when I heard his deep voice. My eyes fluttered open at once as if they had been waiting for him to speak. "I'm sorry for what I said about you earlier" "It's fine" I managed to croak "I was scared and confused but not anymore" I did not understand what he meant. I looked at his face at the other side of the bed trying to decipher what he was trying to say but his face was blank. "Goodnight Marco" he said and closed his eyes. I lay in the same position, looking at the now sleeping figure. I was confused and curious. What do you mean by not anymore? I asked in my mind as if he could somehow hear me. But he couldn't. And I wasn't brave enough to ask. Afraid that my heart would be shattered again by the same person I had fallen madly in love with. The only person my soul longed for. The only person my body lusted for. I lay in that position, watching him sleep till my eyes gave up and closed on their own. ****************************************************** VOTE
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