Twilight Isn't Literature [APH]

After playing Hetaoni, 14 year old Dakota spends the night at her friend's house. On loud panic attack inducing crashing sound later, Dakota promptly faints on her dear friend, Tavi. Soon after, Tavi's butt face of a brother, Alfred (AKA The Hero) shows up unexpectedly and whisks Tavi and Dakota (Despite Alfred's protests) away to a world conference. The duo enjoy themselves for awhile, some arguing happens, then oh shiz, the 2ps rear their ugly faces. One kidnapping scene later, Dakota has the poop kicked out of her and is locked in the Hetaoni mansion. All throughout the commentary I bet you have been wondering, what the fudge does the title have to do with this? The answer is, nothing. It's all I could come up with at 2 am. I'll try to fit it in somewhere.
I wrote this fabulous description at 1 in the morning and will almost definitely not come back and edit it.
I don't own Hetalia, blahblahblah, I do own Dakota and Tavi. Plus the crap ton of dogs they own.