The TGSPGoSSP 2-Part Trilogy - Christopher Schmitz - Wattpad

The TGSPGoSSP 2-Part Trilogy

ChristopherSchmitz

Reads 69
Votes 5
Parts 2
Time 44m

Reads 69
Votes 5
Parts 2
Time 44m

ChristopherSchmitz

argon dark dragons dungeons eye fanfic fantasy fiction funny gaming high monty python rpg science star trek

The TGSPGoSSP  stands for The Gilgalesh Satire Players Guild of Satirical Satire Players. 

Imagine if Monty Python's Flying Circus lived in your head or you were a cynical curmudgeon (like a cross between a broke Donald Trump and Clint Eastwood's character from Gran Torino) but weren't mean enough to actual articulate the thoughts about people that sometimes amble through your head, begging to be voiced. That sort of lampooning might migrate to the fingers and be printed, rather than vocalized... and remember there's a difference between libel and slander-they are separate crimes according to the law.

Let me tell you who they TGSPGoSSP  are: a bunch of imaginary friends who live inside my head and keep me just inside the thin line that separates the foil-hat basket-weavers from the asylum admin. Yes, I have imaginary friends... and half of them even like me.

These "friends" act out the stories in dark humor fashion as they mock everything I love and help me laugh at myself. If they hurt your feelings... well, you'll have to take it up with them.All Rights Reserved

argon dark dragons dungeons eye fanfic fantasy fiction funny gaming high monty python rpg science star trek

Table of contents

2 parts

Sign up to add The TGSPGoSSP 2-Part Trilogy to your library and receive updates

or

Content Guidelines

You may also like

Finding My Lost Self [to be edited] by Dark_Starlet

She's sarcastic. She was the girl who never cared what people said. She was far from a romantic; She was Oreo obsessed. She used to beat up people in middle school, and still throws her shoes at them in high school. She was weird, a good weird. She was sensitive, but piss her off and you'll be scared. It was just her and the small, easy life she had. That was until everything had gone down the toilet. That was until her senior year had started.. ~♦~ Monsters are just everywhere, Only a few people are trustworthy. Would you be my savior if I'm lost there? 'Cause with all the greed, there's left no mercy. At some point I'll be so hopeless, At some point I'll get that feeling, That feeling when trying's Worthless, Doors are closed, I'm barely breathing. I need the light, I need a guide, I'll do things with all my might, Smiling is hard, life's not so "cute", You scream and yet, the screams are mute, When lies, evil and mistakes take all the love away... When asked how you feel it's always "I'm Okay," All the hope you had, got lost in the darkness, You're heartbroken, you feel so hopeless... Crying in the silence is the best you can. Everything has changed in a blurry time span... Would I be able to find true Love? Would I be able to ever again Trust? Be My Savior, Please Don't Be late... Give me true love... I hope you understand. My name is Samantha Walters, and that's how my story went... But who knows how it would end? - #11 in Humor Copyright © Dark_Starlet. All Rights reserved.

Cherry Blossom Abyss by ToastyBunss4

I wait for him to look at me. "The fuck you staring at me for,bitch??" He snarls. I lean in quickly,pressing my lips to his. He freezes,eyes widening. Then he suddenly shoved me away,hard. I lost my balance and fell back. "Ew,the fuck you putting your girl germs on me for? Just because we're childhood friends doesn't mean I prefer your sushi over cock." "You kissed me last time and didn't wipe your lips!" He shrugs,looking forward. "That was different." I shove him,angrily. "Kiss me!" He narrows his eyes,shoving me back. "The fuck you raising your voice at??" I get in his face. "The only motherfucker here,you stupid or some shit?" He stares at me for a long time. Then ..."don't do that." "Do what?" I ask. "the attitude thing. Stop it." He looks forward again and I smile,smugly. "Why,am I intimidating?" I grin. "Intimidating?" He looks at me,thumping his cigarette. "Honey,you could never intimidate me." "Then why should I stop?" He leans in my face. "because when you get an attitude like that,it makes me want to fuck the shit out of you." He brushes past me without another word. ×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•× Vivian finally got into the college of her dreams,with attempting to ignore its weird condition. in attempts to find herself,she also ends up finding herself in more than just a love triangle. she isn't quite aware of her feelings yet,or why she was such an outcast before she became an adult,but she's determined to find true love among the multiple love choices that cross her mind daily. also attempting to find her meaning in life and why she was born with certain powers not all possess. from sneaking into a male boarding house,disguised as a male to being seduced by her childhood male best friends as well as falling for complete assholes,ghosts and even realizing she might be bisexual. she's in quite the pickle.

Kingdoms Falling by KatWingfree

"Dragnaple has no place for scrawny, malformed, spectacled, wanna-be heroes." Meadow Grass isn't what most would consider a "normal" hero, and definitely not like the characters he reads about in his books. He stutters when he talks, tinkers instead of destroys, and is an absolutely lousy fighter. But, if there is one thing he's learned from his short time as a Defender, it's that heroes are never the ones everyone expects. And now he is going to have a chance to prove it. Something's gone terribly wrong in Dragnaple. A new villain has escaped the Dark Realm and is brainwashing a ll of the tribes to become the evil versions of themselves. When that same darkness takes control of everyone on his team except him, he will have to find the courage inside of him to rise from the shadows, save the realms, and maybe discover himself along the way. "If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing." ~1st Corinthians 13: 1-3 A/N: Theme Song: "Saviors of the World" by Skillet. //Book 2 in the Defenders series//

Beauties and Beasts by LoweFantasy

Neara and Shay looked to the future (read 'pastries') to forget their past, but are interrupted by being transported to a world of beastmen struggling to keep their population up when 4-5 men are born for every woman. Because of the high competition, men look like models and the women like dump trucks. When the two modern girls show up, their comparative 'beauty' and basic manners cause chaos and mayhem. Forget having a harem, they want home. Home has cinnamon rolls and flushing toilets. But could they be the key to finding out what caused such an imbalance to the genders? A not-so-traditional satire of self-insertion into the world of the manhua "Beauty and the Beasts" by two old English graduate friends who need a good laugh and writing practice. DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THE MANHUA/FANDOM TO ENJOY THE STORY! It's even better if you don't. DISCLAIMER: This story is unique in that it is not something I wrote for myself or to write any sort of genius plot. I wasn't trying to write 'a good story.' I wasn't even writing to entertain you lot. The whole purpose of this book was to get my friend back into writing so she could have a way to escape the hell which was her abusive marriage and having a baby with A LOT of medical needs. That's why we follow the original plot of the manga in the beginning--because having an 'outline' of sorts of what to write helped eased her back in. Once she got comfortable with writing again the plot shoots off into several directions. It's a story not to be literary amazing or even entertaining to anyone reading. It's just me trying to help my friend who was suffering.

Diary From The Carrot Union by Poofballnco

TESTIMONIES "Dude, the world building is top notch right from the start. It's thematically consistent, the names are zingy and attention grabbing. And we have good concise info being fed to our brains. I love your style." - @SpuriousSimulacrum "This is great so far. Having spent years in Eastern Europe, this humour is equal parts nostalgic and poignant. You've taken the best bits of 'Animal Farm' and '1984' and turned it into something unique here. Definitely added to the reading list for this summer. Can't wait to read more. Well done." - @Mystery_Twins_LTD "This is just such an entertaining read. Seriously, it seems like it should be on Adult Swim or something:)" - @stkingnaturally To Moshare I came seeking fortune, but they're making me work til' I'm dead. And here I am, drunk in the side of some sort of concrete monument in this So-Called rabbit's paradise. Let's check the news...Good! Extra slices of bread for everybody! Ummm, Carrots and cabbages have exceeded their quotas, and the Animalist Party held yet another victory parade, as the Carrot Union has won another war on Talabar Front. And oioioi...'m just too scared to give a shit about it, as Commissar Nikita said whoever protests gets detained, sent to the gulag, and quote on quote, "And never is able to see vodka again." Yes, yes! Funny people I hear every day on the wiretap. Stuff ranging from a guy that stole a stapler, and another guy drugging his coffee with laxative, or some kids setting off fireworks near a retirement home filled with veterans and getting shot by the Carrot Guard Bureau, the CGB But hey, I thought I could share my story here! This place might be a shithole, but hey, who knows what the future might bring? Other than atherosclerosis from eating too much-fried cheburek Right, to the story. Credits to @annabellacx for editing

A Fallen Star by GearsDaughter

Tyroon "Nightmare" is a bandit who is also a bounty hunter. But his story wasn't always like this. He was the runt in his family but he was the Alpha's son so he was put through hell and back. But when it came down he loved them till the end of time. And for his family that came sooner than expected. The lizard folk came to his planet and killed everyone. His whole family was slaughtered and he was taken captive. Why didn't they kill him? No one knows other than the master himself. Seven cycles went by and Tyroon never forgot about his family. At the age of seventeen his friend Key trained him from ten cycles old to now. Now Tyroon is an Assassin and a pretty good one. And in his time here at the bandits base where the lizard folk live he found Leo. But the peace on the ship was messed with when explosions went off in the control room and Key ushered Tyroon into a pod. Key pushed the button and shot Tyroon out into space. That was the day Tyroon watched his best friend blow in to pieces. Tyroon crashed landed on a sandy planet that looked weird at first when after a while a girl named Catlin came and found him. She took him to her town and he saw a bounty. He read it and it said to go and meet a guy named Drake. He did so and Drake gave him the job to help him kill the Calamity. After killing the Calamity, Oliver (Yes from the Story The Engineer) helped him fix his ship and that's when Tyroon took off and started his Career as a Bandit. He was given the job to find a rare black gem from an old abandoned temple and return it to a mysterious women. But when Tyroon got the gem it claimed him as the chosen one. After that his life changed forever.

Infinity || Harry Potter by kinsweasley

I hope she is alright, wherever she is. I can't lose anyone else I love, specially not her. She is my 'first' everything. If I lose her then I could never forget my self for not being there for her in the first place and leaving, knowing she was in danger. Y/n Malfoy the only Malfoy who doesn't care about fame and purity, it's 'bullshit' she quote. What will happen when she falls for "The Chosen One" Malfoy's biggest enemy? (Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling and You belongs to your parents)

The Struggles of life as a Moody Teen (A large collection of my angry opinions) by pudgyaf

There are a lot of things in life that can really grind your gears - and it's apparent that as a teenager you have the ability to pick out literally anything and complain about it. This is not a story as such - more of a collection of niggles that can only be shamed and exposed through the wonder of writing. Things such as: The annoyance of one bar of wifi Why siblings are the reason you want to move out of home The struggle of spending time with relatives you don't care about And many more. So this "book" is more of a continuous blog - think of it as an archive of articles all vaguely pointing in the same direction. I hope you enjoy them and can relate to them as well xD

Remember Me Once More | Ted Shackleford (The Man in The Yellow Hat) x f. Reader by banguette

He stayed. You left. 6 years after your last meeting, a game of circumstance lands you in the same room as him - and his monkey. With 2 weeks of working in close proximity, things are bound to come to light. The question is, how will he perceive it? ------- word count: 14.7k (I'm sorry) warnings: they are both idiots!!! who are in love!!! angsty feelings, cursing a lot of talk of canada and the us as well as culinary schools (i did my research but i'm not from either of those places so pls forgive me if some things are wrong), some words are in italian because the pisghettis, awkward conversations, ted is a nerdy dilfy hotshot museum director, reader is a chef, sex fantasies (a LOT of them), they get trapped in a room, many many apologies, flashbacks to college, it's never explained but ted calls oc chowder, oc has two moms because we love diversity, brief mention of 'the office' and julius the monkey, sweet confessions, SO MUCH KISSING!!, cheesy lines are exchanged, boners, ted has a big virgin dick, experienced reader, oral sex (male and female recieving), a bit of a hair kink, clit play, ted is a bit too excited sometimes, bickering like they're an old married couple, reader has an iud, unprotected sex (do not try!! i repeat, do not try!!), several orgasms, creampies (yes, creampieS), missionary, riding, they act like horny teenagers, ted's butt deserves its own warning so here it is, brief mentions of bath sex, old wounds finally heal, the three of them are basically a family, public speaking, y/n is a bit unhinged, more sweet confessions, allusions to exhibition (pls keep in mind this is my first smut fic, be kind!!) cover by: me (illustrations featured belong to their rightful owners) note: I do not regret this book nor do I condone it. Fueled by Ted TikToks, inspired by 'Maroon' by Taylor Swift and 'Don't You Remember?' by Adele.

blurred lines [draco x reader] by user456327

dracoxreader some smut 18+ ;) // After growing up side by side in Devon, your childhood friendship with Cedric Diggory blossomed into something more-until you moved to France. Six years later, your father's job relocates you back to Devon, where you're thrust into the halls of Hogwarts, only to discover that Cedric has moved on with a new girlfriend. As you navigate the complexities of rekindled feelings and the heartbreak of lost love, you find yourself unexpectedly entangled in a fake relationship with Draco Malfoy. ps: the events that occur in this story are completely out of order. let's just pretend cedric never dies in the triwizard tournament, and that voldemort exists but is not strong enough to take form yet. anyways, hope you enjoy!

You may also like

Slide 1 of 10

Finding My Lost Self [to be edited] cover

Cherry Blossom Abyss cover

Kingdoms Falling cover

Beauties and Beasts cover

Diary From The Carrot Union cover

A Fallen Star cover

Infinity || Harry Potter cover

The Struggles of life as a Moody Teen (A large collection of my angry opinions) cover

Remember Me Once More | Ted Shackleford (The Man in The Yellow Hat) x f. Reader cover

blurred lines [draco x reader] cover

Finding My Lost Self [to be edited]

She's sarcastic. She was the girl who never cared what people said. She was far from a romantic; She was Oreo obsessed. She used to beat up people in middle school, and still throws her shoes at them in high school. She was weird, a good weird. She was sensitive, but piss her off and you'll be scared. It was just her and the small, easy life she had. That was until everything had gone down the toilet. That was until her senior year had started.. ~♦~ Monsters are just everywhere, Only a few people are trustworthy. Would you be my savior if I'm lost there? 'Cause with all the greed, there's left no mercy. At some point I'll be so hopeless, At some point I'll get that feeling, That feeling when trying's Worthless, Doors are closed, I'm barely breathing. I need the light, I need a guide, I'll do things with all my might, Smiling is hard, life's not so "cute", You scream and yet, the screams are mute, When lies, evil and mistakes take all the love away... When asked how you feel it's always "I'm Okay," All the hope you had, got lost in the darkness, You're heartbroken, you feel so hopeless... Crying in the silence is the best you can. Everything has changed in a blurry time span... Would I be able to find true Love? Would I be able to ever again Trust? Be My Savior, Please Don't Be late... Give me true love... I hope you understand. My name is Samantha Walters, and that's how my story went... But who knows how it would end? - #11 in Humor Copyright © Dark_Starlet. All Rights reserved.