The TGSPGoSSP 2-Part Trilogy - Christopher Schmitz - Wattpad

The TGSPGoSSP 2-Part Trilogy

ChristopherSchmitz

Reads 69
Votes 5
Parts 2
Time 44m

Reads 69
Votes 5
Parts 2
Time 44m

ChristopherSchmitz

argon dark dragons dungeons eye fanfic fantasy fiction funny gaming high monty python rpg science star trek

The TGSPGoSSP  stands for The Gilgalesh Satire Players Guild of Satirical Satire Players. 

Imagine if Monty Python's Flying Circus lived in your head or you were a cynical curmudgeon (like a cross between a broke Donald Trump and Clint Eastwood's character from Gran Torino) but weren't mean enough to actual articulate the thoughts about people that sometimes amble through your head, begging to be voiced. That sort of lampooning might migrate to the fingers and be printed, rather than vocalized... and remember there's a difference between libel and slander-they are separate crimes according to the law.

Let me tell you who they TGSPGoSSP  are: a bunch of imaginary friends who live inside my head and keep me just inside the thin line that separates the foil-hat basket-weavers from the asylum admin. Yes, I have imaginary friends... and half of them even like me.

These "friends" act out the stories in dark humor fashion as they mock everything I love and help me laugh at myself. If they hurt your feelings... well, you'll have to take it up with them.All Rights Reserved

argon dark dragons dungeons eye fanfic fantasy fiction funny gaming high monty python rpg science star trek

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Beauties and Beasts by LoweFantasy

Neara and Shay looked to the future (read 'pastries') to forget their past, but are interrupted by being transported to a world of beastmen struggling to keep their population up when 4-5 men are born for every woman. Because of the high competition, men look like models and the women like dump trucks. When the two modern girls show up, their comparative 'beauty' and basic manners cause chaos and mayhem. Forget having a harem, they want home. Home has cinnamon rolls and flushing toilets. But could they be the key to finding out what caused such an imbalance to the genders? A not-so-traditional satire of self-insertion into the world of the manhua "Beauty and the Beasts" by two old English graduate friends who need a good laugh and writing practice. DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THE MANHUA/FANDOM TO ENJOY THE STORY! It's even better if you don't. DISCLAIMER: This story is unique in that it is not something I wrote for myself or to write any sort of genius plot. I wasn't trying to write 'a good story.' I wasn't even writing to entertain you lot. The whole purpose of this book was to get my friend back into writing so she could have a way to escape the hell which was her abusive marriage and having a baby with A LOT of medical needs. That's why we follow the original plot of the manga in the beginning--because having an 'outline' of sorts of what to write helped eased her back in. Once she got comfortable with writing again the plot shoots off into several directions. It's a story not to be literary amazing or even entertaining to anyone reading. It's just me trying to help my friend who was suffering.

In His Arms (Antisepticeye x Female Reader) by Austynlevi

(Anti and 18 year old female reader.) You are a huge fan of Markiplier, and Jacksepticeye, and fly out to LA for a convention. Obviously stoked to be meeting them, and also about hang out in LA for an entire week. Then your life goes crazy. On the plane you meet who you thought was Sean, but turns out to actually be Anti. Then in the twisted events life, you get an unwanted call from your hometown police, cutting your trip off. During this time you move out to LA...and to Anti. Has a tiny bit of fluff. (YN) = Your Name (LN) = Last Name

Finding My Lost Self [to be edited] by Dark_Starlet

She's sarcastic. She was the girl who never cared what people said. She was far from a romantic; She was Oreo obsessed. She used to beat up people in middle school, and still throws her shoes at them in high school. She was weird, a good weird. She was sensitive, but piss her off and you'll be scared. It was just her and the small, easy life she had. That was until everything had gone down the toilet. That was until her senior year had started.. ~♦~ Monsters are just everywhere, Only a few people are trustworthy. Would you be my savior if I'm lost there? 'Cause with all the greed, there's left no mercy. At some point I'll be so hopeless, At some point I'll get that feeling, That feeling when trying's Worthless, Doors are closed, I'm barely breathing. I need the light, I need a guide, I'll do things with all my might, Smiling is hard, life's not so "cute", You scream and yet, the screams are mute, When lies, evil and mistakes take all the love away... When asked how you feel it's always "I'm Okay," All the hope you had, got lost in the darkness, You're heartbroken, you feel so hopeless... Crying in the silence is the best you can. Everything has changed in a blurry time span... Would I be able to find true Love? Would I be able to ever again Trust? Be My Savior, Please Don't Be late... Give me true love... I hope you understand. My name is Samantha Walters, and that's how my story went... But who knows how it would end? - #11 in Humor Copyright © Dark_Starlet. All Rights reserved.

Atlantis Academy: The First Element by AutumnKalquist

Five Star Reviews for Atlantis Academy: "Omg this book was amazing I couldn't put it down or stop reading. I carried it with me open on my phone while I did everything just to keep reading. I need more of all of this. Epic story, epic content, epic visuals, just epic. LOVE THIS!" "Once I got into this story, I did not stop reading it. This is a beautiful story about a very awkward girl who is riven with so much pain and angst and yet... this makes her who she is and shapes her into the person she will become. The world she finds herself awakened to is magical and yet filled with the all-too-familiar cliques and tribes of the very human people who inhabit it. One word to describe the story: beautiful!" "The story pulls you headlong to the end and leaves you wanting to shout "No! Not yet!" ...If there were 6 stars, I would have given it that." *** Humanity is one secret society away from extinction. The children of Atlantis use magic to keep us safe. If they make it through the Academy. Hi, I'm Lyric. And I'm kind of a mess. ADHD, that's me. I'm a high school drop-out, late everywhere I go, and one screw-up away from being homeless. I'm a loner, and I like it that way. Who needs friends when you have a Redwood forest nearby? Trees never bully me like the kids did at school. Or get drunk and throw things at my head. After my mom died, I figured life couldn't get much worse. I thought it might even get better. Ha. The universe has a great sense of humor. I should've listened to the rumors about evil spirits. About the angry, ancient magical creatures haunting our small Oregon Coast town. But did I? No. That was my first mistake. And it might be my last. 'Cause now I'm in a battle for my life. A whole new world has opened up... a magical world I don't understand. And the blood in my veins says I belong here. But I have to prove myself to save myself. And when have I ever done that?

blurred lines [draco x reader] by user456327

dracoxreader some smut 18+ ;) // After growing up side by side in Devon, your childhood friendship with Cedric Diggory blossomed into something more-until you moved to France. Six years later, your father's job relocates you back to Devon, where you're thrust into the halls of Hogwarts, only to discover that Cedric has moved on with a new girlfriend. As you navigate the complexities of rekindled feelings and the heartbreak of lost love, you find yourself unexpectedly entangled in a fake relationship with Draco Malfoy. ps: the events that occur in this story are completely out of order. let's just pretend cedric never dies in the triwizard tournament, and that voldemort exists but is not strong enough to take form yet. anyways, hope you enjoy!

Infinity || Harry Potter by kinsweasley

I hope she is alright, wherever she is. I can't lose anyone else I love, specially not her. She is my 'first' everything. If I lose her then I could never forget my self for not being there for her in the first place and leaving, knowing she was in danger. Y/n Malfoy the only Malfoy who doesn't care about fame and purity, it's 'bullshit' she quote. What will happen when she falls for "The Chosen One" Malfoy's biggest enemy? (Harry Potter belongs to J.K Rowling and You belongs to your parents)

Cherry Blossom Abyss by ToastyBunss4

I wait for him to look at me. "The fuck you staring at me for,bitch??" He snarls. I lean in quickly,pressing my lips to his. He freezes,eyes widening. Then he suddenly shoved me away,hard. I lost my balance and fell back. "Ew,the fuck you putting your girl germs on me for? Just because we're childhood friends doesn't mean I prefer your sushi over cock." "You kissed me last time and didn't wipe your lips!" He shrugs,looking forward. "That was different." I shove him,angrily. "Kiss me!" He narrows his eyes,shoving me back. "The fuck you raising your voice at??" I get in his face. "The only motherfucker here,you stupid or some shit?" He stares at me for a long time. Then ..."don't do that." "Do what?" I ask. "the attitude thing. Stop it." He looks forward again and I smile,smugly. "Why,am I intimidating?" I grin. "Intimidating?" He looks at me,thumping his cigarette. "Honey,you could never intimidate me." "Then why should I stop?" He leans in my face. "because when you get an attitude like that,it makes me want to fuck the shit out of you." He brushes past me without another word. ×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•×•× Vivian finally got into the college of her dreams,with attempting to ignore its weird condition. in attempts to find herself,she also ends up finding herself in more than just a love triangle. she isn't quite aware of her feelings yet,or why she was such an outcast before she became an adult,but she's determined to find true love among the multiple love choices that cross her mind daily. also attempting to find her meaning in life and why she was born with certain powers not all possess. from sneaking into a male boarding house,disguised as a male to being seduced by her childhood male best friends as well as falling for complete assholes,ghosts and even realizing she might be bisexual. she's in quite the pickle.

Diary From The Carrot Union by Poofballnco

TESTIMONIES "Dude, the world building is top notch right from the start. It's thematically consistent, the names are zingy and attention grabbing. And we have good concise info being fed to our brains. I love your style." - @SpuriousSimulacrum "This is great so far. Having spent years in Eastern Europe, this humour is equal parts nostalgic and poignant. You've taken the best bits of 'Animal Farm' and '1984' and turned it into something unique here. Definitely added to the reading list for this summer. Can't wait to read more. Well done." - @Mystery_Twins_LTD "This is just such an entertaining read. Seriously, it seems like it should be on Adult Swim or something:)" - @stkingnaturally To Moshare I came seeking fortune, but they're making me work til' I'm dead. And here I am, drunk in the side of some sort of concrete monument in this So-Called rabbit's paradise. Let's check the news...Good! Extra slices of bread for everybody! Ummm, Carrots and cabbages have exceeded their quotas, and the Animalist Party held yet another victory parade, as the Carrot Union has won another war on Talabar Front. And oioioi...'m just too scared to give a shit about it, as Commissar Nikita said whoever protests gets detained, sent to the gulag, and quote on quote, "And never is able to see vodka again." Yes, yes! Funny people I hear every day on the wiretap. Stuff ranging from a guy that stole a stapler, and another guy drugging his coffee with laxative, or some kids setting off fireworks near a retirement home filled with veterans and getting shot by the Carrot Guard Bureau, the CGB But hey, I thought I could share my story here! This place might be a shithole, but hey, who knows what the future might bring? Other than atherosclerosis from eating too much-fried cheburek Right, to the story. Credits to @annabellacx for editing

Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓ by Nikithasuz123

(Editing) His eyes widen and his lips part in pain as he stares wordlessly at me and then at the large blotch that forms around his chest . He clutches it as he coughs in pain. I didn't get to push him into a sewer, but this feels so much better. I sardonically chuckle to myself before leaning in to whisper into his ear. "Gotcha." - - - I was a nobody . A big fat wallflower that was always in the background. The only mistake I made was confessing to the school's prince. That day I was completely and utterly humiliated. It's been two years and now I'm back. Back for some sweet revenge. #Winner of the Pre-Watty awards for best laugh worthy book. *Filled with humor and jokes that can't stop you from chuckling ;) # 1 ranking in Stop bullying (10/5/18) #11 In Humor (1/6/18) ©Nikithasuz123 Cover credits to unreadymage. Amazing cover XD

Serenus - Sarcastic Newcomer Edition by FactAndLore

So, here we are, all of us, lost in this mystical realm with zero memory of where we came from. It's like we all took the world's worst vacation, and now nobody can find their way back home. And guess what we have to guide us? A poem. Because why bother with maps or instructions when you can have cryptic, poetic nonsense? It's almost like Serenus wants us to play a twisted game of "figure it out before you die." Now, the world itself is a total trip. It's a magical land where anything is possible, except, apparently, for things making sense. But don't let the pretty flowers and magical buffets fool you-something's not quite right in this enchanted Eden. You've got all these resources lying around just begging to be used for peace, justice, and all those other warm, fuzzy ideals. It's like someone set up the perfect civilization starter kit, but forgot to mention that some of these folks are dead set on turning this dreamland into their own personal dystopia. And with their magical abilities, they're like toddlers wielding chainsaws-adorably dangerous, but mostly just dangerous. Meanwhile, me and my merry band of misfit friends are stuck trying to save this world from self-destruction. Because apparently, we're the only ones who read the brochure about this place being a "civilized society based on values." And while we're at it, I'm also on a little side quest to answer the age-old question: Who am I? It's not like I have bigger things to worry about, like, I don't know, preventing magical Armageddon or anything. With a charming mix of wit, sarcasm, and a healthy dose of "what-the-heck-is-going-on," the story of Serenus follows our nameless protagonist as they unravel the mysteries of this strange land, all while trying to avoid becoming dino-chow or the latest victim of a magical mishap. It's a tale of self-discovery, magical frisking, and just trying to survive another day in this oh-so-serene-and completely crazy-world.

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Slide 1 of 10

Beauties and Beasts cover

In His Arms (Antisepticeye x Female Reader) cover

Finding My Lost Self [to be edited] cover

Atlantis Academy: The First Element cover

blurred lines [draco x reader] cover

Infinity || Harry Potter cover

Cherry Blossom Abyss cover

Diary From The Carrot Union cover

Revenge Of The Fat Wallflower|✓ cover

Serenus - Sarcastic Newcomer Edition cover

Beauties and Beasts

Neara and Shay looked to the future (read 'pastries') to forget their past, but are interrupted by being transported to a world of beastmen struggling to keep their population up when 4-5 men are born for every woman. Because of the high competition, men look like models and the women like dump trucks. When the two modern girls show up, their comparative 'beauty' and basic manners cause chaos and mayhem. Forget having a harem, they want home. Home has cinnamon rolls and flushing toilets. But could they be the key to finding out what caused such an imbalance to the genders? A not-so-traditional satire of self-insertion into the world of the manhua "Beauty and the Beasts" by two old English graduate friends who need a good laugh and writing practice. DO NOT NEED TO KNOW THE MANHUA/FANDOM TO ENJOY THE STORY! It's even better if you don't. DISCLAIMER: This story is unique in that it is not something I wrote for myself or to write any sort of genius plot. I wasn't trying to write 'a good story.' I wasn't even writing to entertain you lot. The whole purpose of this book was to get my friend back into writing so she could have a way to escape the hell which was her abusive marriage and having a baby with A LOT of medical needs. That's why we follow the original plot of the manga in the beginning--because having an 'outline' of sorts of what to write helped eased her back in. Once she got comfortable with writing again the plot shoots off into several directions. It's a story not to be literary amazing or even entertaining to anyone reading. It's just me trying to help my friend who was suffering.