ONE HELL OF A GANGSTER
  • Membaca 971
  • Suara 44
  • Bagian 8
  • Membaca 971
  • Suara 44
  • Bagian 8
Sedang dalam proses, Awal publikasi Jul 22, 2013
PROLOGUE: 

Sometimes, all we have to do is cry, because tears are words too painful for a broken heart to speak.

Ever since I met you, nobody else was even worth thinking about. For me you're an angel sent from above to love me. Because of you, I learned to appreciate my existence. We were so in love, we can't even take a day w/o seeing each other. We were perfect for each other.

 

Until one day, everything changed.

I don't almost recognize you.

I love you but you can't love me back.

You changed.

I guess fairytales doesn't exist at all.

Then, I lost you.

That was the most painful event that happened to me.

I screamed my heart out.

I begged for you to come back, but you ignored me.

I knelt down to gain your sympathy but you never turned your back.

 

On that day, I swore I would hate you for the rest of my life and I swore that I will never shed a single tear for you again. I will change my self and you’ll regret this.

 

END OF PROLOGUE
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What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'
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[ MPREG ] [ Trans X Straight ] Love really makes you do all the stupidest- oh, correction, obsession. Obsession really makes you do all the stupidest and unimaginable deeds. Is it embracing humiliation, discrimination, degradation, physical and psychological violence, inhumanity, and ruthlessness are part of what? Obsession? Love? Or maybe both. How can you let someone trample your morality, dignity- yourself.... your own self. Is it worth it? Is the pain worth it? Are you happy? Is the 'part' of obsession and love makes you happy? The undying unscientific paradox distressing Vanna since they take up residence in Lardizabal abode. Everyday those questions remain unanswered, for Vanna, it's next to impossible. Seeing how her sister was badly wounded, bruised, wet every time she came home from university makes her blood boil to her and.... to him. How can she let those animals do that to her? Those animals... that tyrant philandering narcissist- Damon. True to his name, a demon, no, a satan, the devil himself. Even the word demon is not suitable for his persona. Countless women was fucked and cried, many gay was beaten and humiliated. Gay? Is that a reason why he 'did' that to Vanna's sister? Why are they chasing that satan to begin with? Is it because of his breathtaking gorgeousness? His unparalleled godly face? Unbelievable but it's the truth. The reality of the society that slapped Vanna unkindly. It's really better to be slapped by the truth than to be kissed by a lie. It hurts but the pain helps her unfold her mind. She will not let it happen again. She must not let it happen again. As the true life begins to unfold, weaves of secrets and mysteries bound to be unveiled with looming weaves of suffering, weaves of uncertainty, and weaves of hope. A roller coaster of emotions that eventually jammed with unforeseeable affection. Smoldering with abhorrence turns to an alluring fragrance; then, an abyssal love will begin to ascent.
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What we have is just now. As long as she loves me. As long as she wants to be with me. As long as there is 'we'. I love her! But the rainbow is not just a blend of vibrant and bright colors. It doesn't even stay for a long period of time-- just enough for us to see and in a fleet of time is gone, leaving us wondering if it's real. A rainbow doesn't have black and white. It wasn't just like that. Same as love. Same as us. There were times that i want to give her up. Not because my love did fade, rather, my love is too much. Too much that letting her go is the only option left for her to choose me without hesitation, without guilt, freed of lies. I want her to grow, to weigh things as it is. I want her to make me feel that being with me is her choice. I want her to realize that i am hers and that she have to surrender herself to me as well. I want her to love me because that is the way she feels and not because it was the safest way. Being with her is paradise. It was a mixture of colored pastel. It was too vibrant to explain. But at a sudden twist of downs and ups, we are shaking. Loving her has become my weakness. The weakening thought of losing her when I fuck up is too much to run me insane. I'm overreacting perhaps. But being with her, means walking in a narrow-road of heaven. There's no security, no assurance. One wrong move, and I'll be slipping away. Just in the never ending pain of darkness, of solitude, of self-struggle. Loving her has become my addiction. I couldn't get enough of it. But so they say, what's too much can cause harm. Maybe I'm loving her too much that she finds it hard to breathe when i'm around. But yes, it is just a wishful thinking; things that I'll surely not going to say to her because i will never ever earn the courage to say so. We are just nothing but a 'fateful coincidence.'