Im Sorry..

Im so sick and tired of myself..I cant do it anymore. It hurts to do anything anymore. I have EVERYTHING about myself. My body, my fat, my face, my laugh, my smile, my face. Everything. I hate it..im slowly killing myself..I hate the pain I put my best friend through..the look she gives me when she sees my cuts..its heartbreaking..I hate doing that to her..I love her more then ANYTHING in life. I love her more then life itself. I cant life without her..but I always have this deep fear the she will get sick of my bullcrap and leave me..just like everyone else did. The all day "it okay I promise I will stay by ur side and never leave u. I promise." thats all bullcrap!! They never stay!! When I open up to someone and tell then what im going through. The just shut me out and act like I was never even there..im so sick and tired of it!! Like am I that horrible to be around!?
But forget it..faking a smile can hide so much..im so sorry for being me...so worthless..