Thinking the unthinkable

I thought that everything had started that day, that one day when IT happened, when I tried to ignore everything I was feeling, when I pushed aside what I thought, I didn't know that that was what was making it worse, but I couldn't help it. What I didn't know was that there was a much deeper story to it, that it had started way before, even though I hadn't noticed... because when THAT happened, I didn't know what to do, and sometimes, I still don't.