My Silent Plea
  • Reads 2,040
  • Votes 121
  • Parts 8
  • Time 1h 11m
  • Reads 2,040
  • Votes 121
  • Parts 8
  • Time 1h 11m
Ongoing, First published May 02, 2012
What do you do when the one who fought your fears...let theirs take over?


I walked outside and did something I haven’t done in years; I cried. These weren’t normal tears though. They were sobs. My entire body felt like an invisible force was pushing from both sides. My chest burned and I crinkled into a little ball. I couldn’t even stand.  I didn’t cry today because I felt sorry for myself. I cried because I’ve been so naive and stupid my whole life. How could anyone love me? I’m ugly. I’m stupid. There are so many pretty girls out there. So why me?  I was useless. I only caused pain upon people. I am a murderer. I killed the only person who could of loved me. They were right. It didn’t matter that Ray took an interest in me. He probably felt only sorry for me. 
Right then, crinkled into a little ball, in the grass, and right there was when I really gave up on life. They shattered my hope of ever repairing my heart; the one He had broken when he left.
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This Love: Spencer Reid

22 parts Complete Mature

spencer, i'll remember how i'd loved you. even after i saw the hate behind your sweet eyes and messy statistics. even after i heard casually cruel words leave the same sugary lips that you used to plant soft kisses on my cheeks. even after i saw you kill right in front of me. the loss of your presence would still hurt the same. it probably wouldn't even matter what you did or didn't do because at night, i would still be crying into my pillow about everything that happened to you regardless. that's another thing that hurts so bad about this all. your loss. it's obvious, i know that. but i feel so alone. and you're actually gone this time.