What He Wants? (Late Update)

What He Wants? (Late Update)

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Tue, May 10, 2016
"I give up, you hear me? Yeah, I'm giving up. Because nothing will make this sadness go away. Nothing you say or do can make anything better now; it's much too late to try and repair something that has been shattered into a million tiny pieces. You can't walk away and then come right back when the time is convenient for you. You can't think that coming back will suddenly erase all that has happened after you chose to walk away. You can't come back claiming you still care when it is clear to see you stopped a long time ago. Why else would you have turned around and left in the first place?" I yelled in frustruation. For the third time, I wonder what he wants!
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I really don't remember the last time I was happy even my childhood memories I honestly don't remember having a bubbly childhood like any other kids ,my life has always been miserable and honestly learned how to adapt to that. you honestly smile over something stupid , laugh over a cracked joke for a few minutes and there's that thing that triggers that you just had enough and you should stop and your mood just goes down and there's nothing to do about it. It's like the inner you always wakes up fucked up more than you are fucked up and tells you that you just sad and you gonna stay that way until you take out the anger on something or someone but you know what something always has to be the blade, permanent scars on how bad it was ,a daily reminder on how life is and how sadness over comes you at times actually not at times but everytime and on the someone part , you hurt people that honestly try to reach out to you and show you how much they care about you but you just had it with everyone and everything and you want no one caring about your feelings and giving a fuck about you because you can't reciprocate the feelings. You can't find yourself caring about anyone else but you but still can't care about yourself enough to feel safe or protected , he was the only one that made me feel alive and I lost him but what hurts more is losing someone and only realizing later what they meant to you.

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