- works of art -

embarrassed myself.
humiliated.
suffering in the imploring agony of self hatred and anxiety. I'm worried when he looks at me he'll see the mistake I made withdrawing what I said.
"can we stop with that?"
of course we can. I'd stop time for you. I'd stop the turn of the earth. I'd do anything for you, but you want me to stop. I'll stop breathing if that's what you want, baby.
I'm worrying you? no, I'm worrying my self over nothing. always nothing. nothing keeps me up at night.
---
yet i crave it.

the pleasurable pleasantness of nothing.
the feeling of satisfaction as your eyes blur with tears and you turn your head on your pillow. your mouth agape. eyes open staring at the black nothing. the words escape your lips. why do they always do that? I may never know. then again, I don't want to.