Yoghurt - Alme - Wattpad

Story cover for Yoghurt by huggimel3

Yoghurt

Reads 199
Votes 25
Parts 7
Time 35m

Reads 199
Votes 25
Parts 7
Time 35m

cool food funny life yoghurt

Stories of life.

Life sucks obviously.
It's amazing, then it's horrible then it's amazing again!

And then you die.
But between these 13 words are so many....stuff.

Occasionally, funny stuff, or even serious stuff you can laugh your tonsils(assuming you still have them) out happens!

This book contains all the stupidity and head shaking shebangs in the modern universe which will make you clutch your stomach and cross your legs to avoid wetting yourself!

You worried about global crisisses?

So is the president, but that doesn't mean we can't laugh about some of them!

Yes, it is clear. 

You!

☝stressed out person....

You must read this book!

Credit to stardust24601 for the blastastic cover!All Rights Reserved

cool food funny life yoghurt

Table of contents

7 parts

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Cliché, Touché and Douche by FadedSmoke

{Completed - #12 highest} I was walking on a path all alone at midnight. I was just wondering around, until I saw a guy in a hoodie. He was beating the pulp out of another guy and one more man was on the ground, he was not moving. I gasped. 'Is he dead?' Or he can be unconscious, yeah 'el' he is just unconscious not dead. Duh! Who would kill a guy? As I was proceeding with my thoughts, that hoodie guy turned his face towards me. My heart had a mini heart attack. I turned my heels to the opposite direction and started to run. 'Run Ella, run for your life' was what my mind was screaming to me. I took turns without thinking, that guy was now following me and guess what? I took a wrong turn and which ended up being a dead end ' You are so dead' I thought. So, I started to think what I said last time to the people I love. 'Good night mom, love you.' to my mom, 'Stop annoying me! I'm going to bed.' to dad which also mean I love you, 'See you later Lu, love you!' to Luana. Okay my good bye says I love them all. Now I can die in peace. Granddad I'll meet you soon in the heaven, if you are there. I was still in my deep thoughts until I saw his silhouette. As, he get closer, my heart begin to race faster. I closed my eyes, until I heard him say "Ella?" O to the M to the G, this person actually knows me. I opened my one eye and saw him due to the small light hanging in that ally "Errrrr'ick!" I squeaked and mentally face palmed myself. Even at this state I'm calling him Errr'ick. "I'm sorry your highness, what can I do for you?" I squeaked again while trembling. The next second I heard his fits of laughter. He was rolling on the floor, actually rofling. I was glaring at him but I realised that I'm not in a position to glare. So, I made puppy dog face for him to spare my little life. He stopped but after seeing my face, he started to laugh again. He tried to say between his guffaws "You..... your face .....was epiccc!" He started to gasp for air and had tears in his eyes.

The Adventures of Little Tummy and Occasionally Uberstlachen in Oufaloufaland by CaptainEyebrows

If you like your insanity to be seasoned with fart jokes and nose picking jokes in the same way that hair gel is seasoned with oregano, then this is the book you've been searching for.

life doesn't last forever by cat-tastic

thinking about the end, just makes me want to end. this is a hilarious book about what i do every day. friends, mitsie pie, randomness, stupidity, and laughter is all included. if i was you, i would start reading. and remember, life doesn't last forever. (': highest rank; #10 in humour, don't remember date.

A DYSPRAXIA LOVE STORY by HuggingWords

Completed, but under editing and rewriting. Situation and diction may change, but not the storyline or character. *** "W-when d-did t-they b-build a w-w all on t-the h-hallway?" I asked no one in particular. I rubbed my head with my eyes shut to ease the pain that shot through my head. The sound of laughter made me freeze with my hand on my head. I opened my eyes, slowly. Three handsome boys were staring at me. No, two of the boys were trying to stifle a smile while one of the boys was staring blankly at me. Rude much? It seemed he was the one I hit and not a wall. Thanks Mary for stating the obvious. I stared at his chest probably because he was taller than I am and I had to look up to meet his face. His abs were visible through the blue shirt he wore. Staring at abs in this situation. Oh God! I'm weird. "First you get to be called a wall, interesting. And now, she is checking you out. It isn't fair. Why do you always get the beautiful ones?" One of the boys groaned. I blushed. I was checking a guy out. Wait, What? Did I just blush? Kill me! "I- I m seery, I debt mean to hat you." What did I just say? This couldn't get any worse. The boys looked shocked even the mute handsome boy looked a little bit surprised. Why did I keep calling him handsome? "I-I'm s-sorry I h-hit you, I d-didn't mean to," that sounded better. "Oh," one of the boys said. Oh! Indeed. I was expecting a reply, but the handsome boy in front of me refused to talk. Is he dumb or deaf? "I am Tom. And I am not dumb nor deaf," he said and walked away. I didn't say that aloud, did I? Guess I did. "You did, baby girl," one of the two boys said an. He waved at me dragging his smirking friend with him. That was embarrassing.

Sort of Deadly by RaghavBhatia7

*Sequel to 'Sort Of Dead'* *Kindly read the previous installment beforehand* ~ "You know the feeling when you see a glass jar filled with perfectly round, colorful marbles, and you just want to put one - or two, or three - in your mouth, even though you know it's dangerous and can kill you? Right. Hold that thought. We'll come back to it." _______________________________________ Not all dreams terminate when you wake up. Some last longer. And some can take over your reality. After the party's victorious return to {Undisclosed}, it takes them a while to coze up to their silly, mundane lives. The sail's smooth . . . at least until Bee starts having those awful nightmares. Those very REAL nightmares. The bookworm finds herself in such a fix - oh, boy, wait for this - that she can't think a way out of it. She's pretty certain she's going to die. It's her friends that she is more worried about. --Have fun! All of your favorite characters are back in this one, and then some! Laugh and sob and cheer them on! #completed { Awesome cover by @jaszthewayyoulikeit } Pst scrpt: I know this blurb sucks. ***All rights reserved: Do not recreate or plagiarise. This is an original work.***

Just Me by TheAppy_10

Ever felt that you're in a world where everything is portrayed happy? Where every story has a happy ending? Where everything gets alright in the end? Well you are a book worm then! :P Welcome to my world. The world which tells about my real life. Hi! I'm Appy grade 12. I know I'm only a teen but my life has put me down enough times to write a book about realizations. This book is gonna be like my diary. I had my diary up on wattpad even previously. A brand new Happier me. who thinks her life has no flaws. so I'm writing a brand new book. Yay! well read and enjoy my new life. No more cribs no more whines. Just a super crazy sexy chic living her perfect life.

I Checked Out the Badboy's Boxers by itzdelicate

"Not the typical cliche teen fiction" "You're hooked from the get go. Pretty much similar to when you can't stop eating till the last slice of pizza, or have the eagerness to pee, but can't because you're scared that if you stop reading you'll miss the intensity each word brings." "There isn't even a word good enough to describe this book. I'm speechless." - "Please Lexa?" Elle looks at me, "Just fill in my spot for ten minutes." At that moment I was calm, what could go wrong with running a checkout isle for ten minutes? As it turns out, everything. -- "Why are you checking me out?" His voice questions. Even his voice is the sexiest thing I've ever heard. Not to mention the broad shoulder, killer jawlined boy it came from. "I wasn't, I swear!" My cheeks blush ferociously. How the hell did he notice? In fact I'd always thought I was pretty stealthy. He just chuckles and looks at me, a rambling mess, "Yes you are." "Okay, alright, you know what-" I pause trying to pick up the pieces of my shattered dignity from the floor, "Maybe you shouldn't come in here like a fracking ambercrombie model and then on top of that blame a poor little innocent girl for looking-" "I meant those. You're checking me out." He gestures to the items laying across the counter and the scanner in my hand. Oh shit. Let me just repeat that for a moment now. Oh shit. -- Started: 12/27/15 Ended: 10/24/18 February 2019: #1 HUMOR -- Warning: I cannot guarantee you will walk away from this book unaffected

Too High for This: Misadventures in Edible-Induced Chaos by SheSpeaksSilence

Ever taken just one more bite of an edible, thinking it wasn't working, only to realize-way too late-that it was working way too well? Welcome to Too High for This, a collection of hilariously unfiltered misadventures fueled by overambitious snacking and the unpredictable rollercoaster of being entirely too high. From full-blown existential crises over a bag of chips to paranoid debates with the TV remote, this book dives into the absurdity, confusion, and downright ridiculousness of edible-fueled escapades. Whether it's getting lost in a grocery store aisle, discovering deep (and completely useless) philosophical truths, or sending texts that make zero sense, every story is a tribute to the beautifully chaotic experience of being absolutely baked beyond reason. Perfect for seasoned stoners, the canna-curious, or anyone who just loves a good laugh, Too High for This is a wild, relatable, and snack-worthy trip through the funniest side of getting high. Warning: Reading this may induce uncontrollable giggles, déjà vu, and an overwhelming desire for mac & cheese.

The Boyfriend Games {Complete | Book One} by BlueDanceLover

"You signed me up for what?" I shrieked at her. My best friend, who had volunteered me to test a new game that she wanted to make videos out of. A game that took ten girls and ten guys and forced them to become a couple. But the guys had to go around and choose who they wanted to try and date, to court and try to swoon. A twisted form of the bachelor or the bachelorette. A way of trying to force love. And she had written my name down without my permission. "It's called The Boyfriend Games," she giggled. "We're gonna find you some love." •~• I gasped looking up at the sincerity in his eyes. "I mean it. The other girls not only dolled their looks up, but they all put on a phony façade. The personality and laughter I see from them is all fake. But you... you only show what's real, no matter how different your appearance is. You're still the same Thera that you were before this started." Chewing on my lip I looked up at him and took a deep breath before my reply. "I really have to pee." •~• Started: Jan. 2015 Finished: July 2015

Randomness by threateningfeet

Do you ever just want to literally laugh out loud for no reason at all? Or maybe, you just want to enjoy a good joke! Well, say no more, because my book, "Randomness", is just what you need! Read these awesome chapters and feel the laughter emerge! Filled with funny jokes, hilarious experiences and even riddles, this book will make you laugh your freaking butt off! Hopefully... Heeheehee.

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Slide 1 of 10

Cliché, Touché and Douche cover

The Adventures of Little Tummy and Occasionally Uberstlachen in Oufaloufaland cover

life doesn't last forever cover

A DYSPRAXIA LOVE STORY cover

Sort of Deadly cover

I Checked Out the Badboy's Boxers cover

Too High for This: Misadventures in Edible-Induced Chaos cover

The Boyfriend Games {Complete | Book One} cover

Randomness cover

Cliché, Touché and Douche

{Completed - #12 highest} I was walking on a path all alone at midnight. I was just wondering around, until I saw a guy in a hoodie. He was beating the pulp out of another guy and one more man was on the ground, he was not moving. I gasped. 'Is he dead?' Or he can be unconscious, yeah 'el' he is just unconscious not dead. Duh! Who would kill a guy? As I was proceeding with my thoughts, that hoodie guy turned his face towards me. My heart had a mini heart attack. I turned my heels to the opposite direction and started to run. 'Run Ella, run for your life' was what my mind was screaming to me. I took turns without thinking, that guy was now following me and guess what? I took a wrong turn and which ended up being a dead end ' You are so dead' I thought. So, I started to think what I said last time to the people I love. 'Good night mom, love you.' to my mom, 'Stop annoying me! I'm going to bed.' to dad which also mean I love you, 'See you later Lu, love you!' to Luana. Okay my good bye says I love them all. Now I can die in peace. Granddad I'll meet you soon in the heaven, if you are there. I was still in my deep thoughts until I saw his silhouette. As, he get closer, my heart begin to race faster. I closed my eyes, until I heard him say "Ella?" O to the M to the G, this person actually knows me. I opened my one eye and saw him due to the small light hanging in that ally "Errrrr'ick!" I squeaked and mentally face palmed myself. Even at this state I'm calling him Errr'ick. "I'm sorry your highness, what can I do for you?" I squeaked again while trembling. The next second I heard his fits of laughter. He was rolling on the floor, actually rofling. I was glaring at him but I realised that I'm not in a position to glare. So, I made puppy dog face for him to spare my little life. He stopped but after seeing my face, he started to laugh again. He tried to say between his guffaws "You..... your face .....was epiccc!" He started to gasp for air and had tears in his eyes.