Simply Broken and Alone.
  • Reads 994
  • Votes 58
  • Parts 16
  • Time 1h 1m
  • Reads 994
  • Votes 58
  • Parts 16
  • Time 1h 1m
Ongoing, First published May 12, 2016
Mature
I took my second puff and exhaled right before she came barging out the double doors. 

"Hey hey! Wait!" I grabbed her arm before she made it to the steps. 

"Let me go!" She was shaking all over her body. 

"Calm down. What's-" 

She yanked free and stumbled back a little before catching her balance. 

"Autumn." I tossed the joint and put it out with my Converse.
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It's moments like these that make me feel like my soul is entangled with his. It feels like all of the broken pieces of me turned out to be the missing pieces in his puzzle and not at all the worthless trash that I thought they were previously. Every jagged edge dripping with blood that killed the child in me has a home against one of his, which have slowly healed into each other. Huh. Maybe that's just it. Maybe our pasts were meant to be so painful and broken so that when we met, we'd fit each other so perfectly, so snuggly, so completely that nothing would ever be able to break us again. Maybe all of the pain and suffering and loneliness truly did have a purpose after all. Maybe all of it was so that I could become the kind of person that I needed when I was a kid. - - - She is the most selfless, giving, caring, compassionate, intelligent, fearless, ambitious, loyal, kind, stubborn, patient, hardworking, did I mention stubborn-as-hell, woman I have ever met. She treats the world with such kindness even though it has beaten her till she was bloody and bruised more times than you can count. No one in this world deserves happiness and peace more than she does. I just want to grab her demons by the fucking throat and hurt them as bad as they hurt her. I want to hurt Bohr and her dad and Caroline and every person that ever made her feel small or insignificant or made her hate herself. I just want to help her feel happy. She's drowning in front of me and I'm just trying to pull her out of the water.
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THIS IS A DOM/SUB FIC PLEASE ONLY READ IF YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH (yes, that means the 'mature for my age' fourteen years olds, I'm not playing with you) There were times when Dean got that itch under his skin, that need to not be the one in control, where would think about this moment. The moment he was under the weight of her gaze again. After the first few months, when the panic attacks and the excessive crying calmed down, after he could breathe normal again, he thought the effect had worn off. Like a detox from a drug he didn't know he was taking. He thought the temptation would disappear. Obviously that is not the case, because here he is, sighing into the warm evening air, already feeling utterly intoxicated in her presence. © all rights reserved Publish May, 2021