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nyctophilia | phan

thenightlockfox

Reads 14,674
Votes 984
Parts 12
Time 1h 20m

Reads 14,674
Votes 984
Parts 12
Time 1h 20m

thenightlockfox

Mature

amazingphil angst dan danandphil danhowell danisnotonfire depression dilhowlter drugs nightclub phanfic phil phillester phần psychedelia sad sequel suicide violence

{{ part two of psychedelia }}

It's been two years since Dan moved out of the apartment to go to a rehabilitation centre, and in that space of time he's heard nothing from Phil. Not even a "hello."

Dan's scared that Phil's moved on and forgotten about him, and since they both stopped vlogging Dan doesn't know what's happening in Phil's life. Is he still living in London? Has he moved back to Manchester? Is he even alive?

So now that Dan is finally off his medication and he's completely clean, he should be happy again, right?

Sometimes, the most painful thing is when the person who you share all of your best memories with becomes a slowly fading memory, and you can't do anything except watch and scream as the past disappears, almost like it never existed in the first place.

And it fucking hurts.

WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, MENTIONS OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.All Rights Reserved

amazingphil angst dan danandphil danhowell danisnotonfire depression dilhowlter drugs nightclub phanfic phil phillester phần psychedelia sad sequel suicide violence

Table of contents

12 parts

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Too Close (Phan) by WellThisIsAwkward49

Phil Lester is a well known youtuber. He hides behind the camera, he acts the way that he wants to but he scared to be himself at school. He's popular and he's not happy like that. Dan is sweet and rarely talks. He is always afraid that somebody will hurt him so he tries to stay away from people and emotions. Dan struggles with depression, selfharm, bullies, anorexia, a dark past, and being fostered by an abusive family. His mom and dad died when he was 13 and he blames himself everyday. His 7 year old sister is the only thing keeping him alive and sane. Phil feels bad for Dan, but he can't show it unless he wants to get hurt to. Little does Phil know, Dan is quickly losing control of his life. Read this book to go on this adventure with Dan and Phil. (Will mostly be written in Dan's POV) WARNINGS: This story will have very triggering content that deals with self harm, depression, self hatred, anorexia, abuse, harsh language, bullying, mentions of rape, bulimia, and anxiety. Please be careful reading my book and I am always here to talk if you need it. Also, Dan is shorter in this book, about 5'9" cause I have a thing with height.

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan by SweetLittlePhangirl

Young Dan Howell, who lives with his alcoholic father, lost his mother to cancer less than a year ago, and is killing himself. Phil Lester, a boy picked on for his weight, lives alone from the rest of the world in a rehab center while trying to recover from severe anorexia. When a concerned teacher suggests Dan seek help, the two lonely worlds collide. Maybe all they need for help is each other. (Rating: Mature! Very angsty! Read at your own risk! Triggers: self harm, eating disorder, suicide. A little swearing. A little smutty, a little fluffy)

Smile, Dan by kittylover573ds

DISCLAIMER: This story is mature because it will have some self harm in it. It will also have some swearing due to that's how Dan actually talks. This is not about Phan being real. I'm sorry to disappoint you. Now onto what it is really about: Dan Howell is becoming more and more depressed. His family, his community, not even his best friend, Phil Lester, can help him. He believes he's a lost cause, and he's a mistake. He tries to hide it best he can, but some nights, it's just too much. During this, he's lost his will to smile. He'll fake smiles for videos and pictures, but he's lost a reason to genuinely smile.

Depression//Phan by bluetroyee

(tw: s*lf-h*rm, mentions of s*lf-h*rm, d*pr*ss*d scenes. May be triggering for some. Read at your own limit, please!) Phil Lester, a boy who's falling into depression slowly. And soon, his depression may end up falling to deep. He gets hateful and rude comments on his videos that he posts to YouTube. He even gets hate on Twitter, Facebook, and Tumblr. What did he ever do to them? What did he do to deserve any of this?? His flatmate Dan doesn't know about Phil's depression, however. All he knows (thinks, rather) is that his best friend is staying strong through all of the hateful things he gets from people. But in reality, that's not what Phil is doing at all. He's not staying strong through the hate. He's just faking the smile for Dan so he wouldn't get so worried about him. Sure, Dan might be able to crack some real smiles out of him once in a while, but not every time. He also wears long sleeves and thick bracelets to hide the scars of his pain. He acts like his normal quirky, adorable, funny, weird self when making YouTube videos, when around his friends and family, when having a meet-up with fans (or just being around them in general), when out in public, etc. Phil hadn't told anyone at all about his depression. And he probably wouldn't anytime soon, either. His fans didn't know, his friends didn't know, his family didn't know, Dan didn't know... nobody knew. But one day, would people push him over his limit? Would Dan be able to save him in time? © 2016 by bluetroyee. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

We Don't Believe What's on TV by storytailor

Actions lead to consequences. Even though Dan doesn't know what he'd do without Phil, Dan doesn't exactly love the idea of 'Phan', and when actions and anger pulls them apart, he's about to find out. A girl. A photo. A gang. A past that's determined to return to hurt him. And Dan himself, the man behind the camera who really doesn't shape up to be all he is on the screen. There are so many things we don't see. We don't believe what's on TV. *Title inspired by Twenty One Pilots* *Art by bethziggydraws on instagram/ iamphanlocked.tumblr.com* *Edited by Jenny L.* *Trigger warnings: Alcohol, drug mention, rape mention, depressing thoughts, suicide mention, self harm mention* *OPEN ENDING - Sequel/Part 2 TBA* DISCLAIMER: This is a work of fiction. The views expressed by the characters do not reflect on those that they have in real life.

Secrets and Lies [COMPLETED] by starrstrxck

I WROTE THIS WHEN I WAS LIKE 12, DON'T READ THIS Phil is secretly in love with Dan. Dan is secretly in love with Phil. Dan has a girlfriend. This girlfriends hates Phil and wants him dead. Truth gets out after a life is almost ended.. What will happen between Dan and Phil?? Will they get their happy ending or does Jessica have something to say about everything?? (This was written a few years ago. Putting it on public again.) CONTAINS SELF HARM, STRUGGLES WITH SUICIDAL THOUGHTS, AND OTHER MATURE TOPICS

psychedelia | phan by thenightlockfox

Dan has given up on ever being happy. Life has lost its meaning, and everything he seems to do causes some form of destruction, and Dan is so tired of destroying the things he used to love. He's lost so much, and he's scared of losing Phil, the only thing he can bring himself to care about. But Dan can't see past his own depression that Phil is struggling with bulimia, and that he's equally good at hiding his dark thoughts as Dan. And as Dan walks through the streets alone at night getting high to escape from the hell he's trapped himself in, will he be able to see that maybe the happiness he craves so desperately is not on the streets in the form of white pills, but inside his own apartment in the form of Phil Lester? Or will it be too late... WARNING: THIS STORY CONTAINS STRONG LANGUAGE, SEXUAL SITUATIONS, USE OF DRUGS, VIOLENCE, HIGH LEVELS OF ANGST, BULIMIA, AND THEMES OF SUICIDE. IT IS NOT SUITABLE FOR YOUNGER READERS.

Outcast ✧ Phan by cuddlephan

Dan Howell has telekinesis - a power just like out of a comic book. Yet instead of protecting the universe as a brave superhero, he hides. He hides his power and himself, fearing nothing more than getting attached to somebody and dragging them down. Of course, Phil Lester, the new kid in school, just had to come waltzing in, destroying his entire view on nearly everything in the worst (and best) ways possible. Phil's like a drug, and boy, is Dan addicted. Warning: contains self harm, depression, boyxboy, references towards abuse, and other possible triggers or content you may not be comfortable with. you can message me in private for the specifics if you feel you need it and remember to stay safe. (Top: #89 in Fanfiction, #1 in Phan!)

$The Missing Lester {phan} by fefetdm__$

Phil goes missing and Dan doesn't know what to do. He feels lost. What happened to Phil?

I'll Leave You With The Outtakes // Phan by ginger_phan

Unbeta'ed as per usual. The final half is not completely nit-picked but will be. Things to Note: a. This contains medical inaccuracies. They're inevitable and this is fanFICTION for a reason. I tried to stay true to science and real-world experience as best as I could. My mistakes are my own and I apologize for them. b. This work mentions 2013/2012 phan a lot, it also mentions Adrian and several other sensitive topics to the phandom. I'm not trying to be rude, and all these things are discussed indirectly. c. I wrote this with the utmost respect towards ALS patients and their families, and I really hope that this...if nothing else displays why we need to be actively searching for a cure for those who don't know much about ALS. d. finally, I don't own Dan and Phil (it would be creepy if I did) and I don't claim that any of this is real. TW (and warnings in general): Cursing, Angst like WHOAH, implied sexual content, terminal illness, referenced/implied thoughts of assisted suicide. Awkward warnings: Excessive Ed Sheeran references. With all that in mind. Enjoy!

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Slide 1 of 10

Too Close (Phan) cover

My Blood, Your Bones - Phan cover

Smile, Dan cover

Depression//Phan cover

We Don't Believe What's on TV cover

Secrets and Lies [COMPLETED] cover

psychedelia | phan cover

Outcast ✧ Phan cover

The Missing Lester {phan} cover

I'll Leave You With The Outtakes // Phan cover

Too Close (Phan)

Phil Lester is a well known youtuber. He hides behind the camera, he acts the way that he wants to but he scared to be himself at school. He's popular and he's not happy like that. Dan is sweet and rarely talks. He is always afraid that somebody will hurt him so he tries to stay away from people and emotions. Dan struggles with depression, selfharm, bullies, anorexia, a dark past, and being fostered by an abusive family. His mom and dad died when he was 13 and he blames himself everyday. His 7 year old sister is the only thing keeping him alive and sane. Phil feels bad for Dan, but he can't show it unless he wants to get hurt to. Little does Phil know, Dan is quickly losing control of his life. Read this book to go on this adventure with Dan and Phil. (Will mostly be written in Dan's POV) WARNINGS: This story will have very triggering content that deals with self harm, depression, self hatred, anorexia, abuse, harsh language, bullying, mentions of rape, bulimia, and anxiety. Please be careful reading my book and I am always here to talk if you need it. Also, Dan is shorter in this book, about 5'9" cause I have a thing with height.