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Crazy is an understatement

lovelifeinbooks

Reads 142
Votes 3
Parts 3
Time 26m

Reads 142
Votes 3
Parts 3
Time 26m

lovelifeinbooks

boy carzy cinnamonbun crazy girl good happy hope like love lovestory walls white

I find myself often thinking about my death. More often then other dose. I have this pitcher in my head, this perfect pitcher how I want to die. I want to die in pain just like the life. Everything in this life is a bloody hell. That's why I'm pitcher myself dieing, dream about dieing, wanting to die. Why can't I just die? I pity dose who do. There is not a single person on this planet who cares about me. Nobody dose.

I was going to jump. Wouldn’t back out like those others times and there was no one there to stop me . No one. I could hear the train getting closer and I was ready. Like never before. I was so ready for that moment that I pitcher so many times that I thought too much. Started to over thinking. Thought loud, too out loud.

“Why didn’t you jump anyway? They couldn’t stop you. What made you not to?” Her warm voice is filling the dusty room. She never really bothers to dust. She got enough on her mind then to  think about that her work room is dusty. I can't remember how many time's she has asked me that question. Five, ten, twenty or more. I never know the answer, never.

“ I don't know”


More than a one year ago Evan tried to take suicide. He don't care about anyone and he thinks no one cares about him. The doctor says his mentally sick. so They put him in a mental hospital in Washington but after 467 day he got to move with his parents and his sister to New York City. He's not very happy about that but what he don't know is how much his life will changes by one person that's comes into his life. He will learn to know himself better but he will also discover how much it can hurts when some that's near your heart are closet to death.All Rights Reserved

boy carzy cinnamonbun crazy girl good happy hope like love lovestory walls white

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Back To You by Miyuko_js_dead

"Can you forget about me...?" I asked him as we stood in the frozen night. He shook his head. I smile, "Well, in that case..." I pause to step back a bit and look up at him. "I'm sorry...," With that, I fall back and into the river. All I could feel was the icey water slowly filling my lungs and then... 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. I never meant for him to fall in love with me. However, when I woke up, I woke up in a white room, "A hospital room...?" I thought to myself. I look around wondering how and why I was here...and then I see him... right next to me. I slightly frowned and tried to get up. He gently placed a hand on my shoulder, urging me to lie back down. I fought against him, trying to get away from him. But he held me firmly, his eyes filled with concern and love. "Please, calm down. You scared me when you fell into the river. I thought I had lost you," he whispered, his voice breaking with emotion. I stopped struggling and looked into his eyes, seeing the pain and fear that I had caused him. I then looked down as I said, "I thought I'd make it easier for you." His face paled. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. I took a deep breath and confessed, "I never wanted you to fall in love with me." I say. He looked at me in shock, his grip on my shoulder loosening. "Why would you say that? Why would you think that would be easier for me?" he asked, his voice filled with confusion and hurt. I closed my eyes, unable to meet his gaze as I replied, "Because I don't deserve your love. I'm not who you think I am." He sat there in silence, processing my words. And then, without warning, he leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. I pulled away, stunned by his action. "I don't care who you think you are. I love you, for you dumbass," he said.

Addict In Black ✔ by whoscountinganyway

USER SERIES 1 Micah Rex: He's handsome, dangerous, reckless. An addict. When he walks into a room, people notice. People are scared of him, people don't look him in the eye. AJ Ferro: She's cute, nice respectful. A helper. When she walks in a room, people usually get flowers. People love her, people want to be her friend. Despite her cheery nature and soft words AJ has never had it easy when it came to addiction -or depression. Without his addiction, sadness and anger Micah doesn't know who he is -and he hates not knowing things. And, of all places, they meet at a rehab center. He looked at her and saw a peppy girl with no future. She looked at him and saw a troubled boy with a bad past. Micah wants to die, AJ wants him to live. It's only a matter of time before one of them breaks through or breaks the other. - I was 12 the first time I took a hit off a joint at a party, smoked a blunt by myself and bought a bong. I was 13 when I started drinking alcohol for fun. 14 the first time I took ecstasy at a college party I snuck into, the same age I lost my virginity. This was the first time I went to a mental institution because it's also the year I first tried to kill myself. 15 the first time I smoked meth, took a bump of cocaine, shot myself up with heroine. This was the first time I got sent to rehab, it didn't work and I came out worse. I was 16 when I tried to commit three times in the same year, the last time I got my heart to stop for 30 seconds. That year was also the first time I snorted Hydrocodone, getting me started in opiates, I experimented with Xanax and liked it. And I was a month from 17 when I got sober. - "Fuck you." I snap. "You already have." Micah bites out. "And I'm pretty fucking sure you liked it too, if your orgasms were anything to go by." - "I want-" Micah stopped, running his fingers through his hair. "Never mind what I want. What do you want?" His voice is quieter now, more gentle. "You."

Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1) by MarcelinePierson

I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024

Argyl by 32Quincey

*Completed* "No smart move.. I suppose I can trust you on this.." He said in his deep voice leaving my hand.He didn't need to tell me that.. I was so taken by his presence and voice that I Couldn't move even if I wanted to.. He pushed me down to the ground by holding my shoulders. I felt his body going away from mine, his heat disappearing, scent fading.. I heard footsteps and saw his figure coming in front of me.. His tall masculine figure walked to the chair in front of me. He took off his suit and placed on the chair. He turned to face me, sitting on it dominantly.. Like he owns the damn world.. He started rolling up his sleeves to his elbows, his eyes not leaving me. I froze in my place as he gazed at me intensely. I couldn't bring myself to look into his eyes but I felt his gaze on me.. Observing my every move.. Closely, Very closely..I am sure he could feel my raged heartbeat and my fast breathing.. And even the slight shaking of my fingers beside me. His gaze on me was suffocating and too intense to ignore.. I looked into his eyes and my heart stopped pumping blood for a moment and went wild the next as my brown eyes met those electric blue orbs.. *** She is a bad news.. She is a nightmare.. She is a Street fighter.. Not just any but the best among them.. She is hellfire and holy water.. That depends on how you treat her.. She is not the one you wanna mess with.. She can make your life a living hell.. She is not just any other girl.. She is Argyl.. If this is her, I will just let you wonder about him...! Started on: 2nd August, 2017. WARNING : It has violent scenes and deaths. You have been warned.

Altered by LuellaOpal

Have you ever met someone who alters the course of your life? For good or for bad, they've come in, given and taken, and then- BOOM! Your life was never the same. There's always a change, an altering of reality. When you meet those people, the reality that you've known your whole life is suddenly gone and a new one has taken its place. When those moments happen, there's no going back. You can try to return to the way things were but nothing, and I mean nothing, can take you back to exactly how it was. That's what happened to us. I think that's why we're still trying so desperately to get back to some sort of normalcy. Four years later and we're still on the ground, crawling, in search of the happiness that was lost that June. Summers will never be the same. Midnight walks through my neighborhood will never be the same. Field parties with bonfires and loud music will never be the same. I still don't know why you left and what lead you to the decision you made. What I do know is that we're here. We're alive and we're pushing forward to the future. A future that you're not a part of. But in some ways, I'm glad you're not a part of it. I just wish it wasn't like this. *** TRIGGER WARNING*** SA, abuse, suicide, substance abuse, and mental illness. This is a complete story that is much like life; fast, full of surprises, and not always how we want it to be. This has been a project of mine for over three years. It was self-published on Amazon, but after some issues in publication, I decided to just upload it on here. I hope you fall in love with these characters like I have. The friends in this story are trying to make names for themselves, figure out who they are, who they can trust, how to love, and how to separate themselves from a restrictive community. As in any coming of age story, they will experience growing pains... but will they survive them before its too late? PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.

Seeking Hope [BoyxBoy] by Deny_Fate

''You don't know me?'' he asked me with the same soft voice. ''How could I?'' I yelled, struggling even harder. ''Let m-me go!'' My voice started to crack. I was breathing harder with each passing second and I was fighting to keep my eyes open. My chest started to hurt. The man caught me and snuggled me to his chest. For the first time after so long, I felt safe. I felt like no one can hurt me, as long as I was with him. Just before everything went blank I felt someone kissing my temple. ''Jayson, I won't lose you again..'' ✁ Jayson Salvatore is a sixteen-year-old boy who lost the will to live. After all, it is kinda hard to hold on to life when you have an abusive alcoholic man for a father, no friends.. basically no one to live for. Little did Jayson know that he will meet a mysterious man with hazel eyes, a man who can shook him to the core just by looking at him, a man who glances at him with kindness and love, feelings Jayson always thought they just weren't for him to experience. As time passes, Jayson can't shake off the feeling that he met the man somewhere before.. and starts struggling to remember. But, will he remember? Inspired by anime and things that happened to one of my friends. Cover made by @StargazerGirl P.S: I'm gonna edit the whole thing, I swear. You can enjoy it as it is, for now.

Even The Smallest Moments Count (Janoskians Fan Fiction) by englishcucumber

I was three when my father was diagnosed with cancer. I lived through the pain of knowing he would die someday. My family and I tried to forget what was going to happen and make the most out of what time we had left. Sometimes he would say that he could see our dog - our dead dog. He said, 'I need to get to her, she wants me to follow her.' In the end, he wasn't himself anymore. One night, I was sleeping, waiting for my parents to come to my bed to say goodnight. He never came. My mom came in and woke me up, she told me that he had died. After she had told me, she left to go back to my father. I lied in bed, sobbing. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fall asleep, and ended up crying all through the night. I will never forget that night, the night that changed my life forever. When he died, I was only seven. My friends tried to comfort me, telling me that they knew how I felt. They couldn't possibly know how I felt. The worst that had happened to them with their parents is that they had gotten a divorce. One of my best friends said that she had lost her grandfather - therefore, knowing how I felt on that day. How could she possibly know how it felt to lose my father? A father that never yelled at me, was always nice to me, always there for me. ~~~~~ Scarlett lost her father when she was seven. When she shared this with her class, it brought her, Jai, and Luke closer. Her only real friends are the Janoskians, but what happens when a (Usually it's called a love triangle.. but there are four people in it so I don't know what to call it other than this...) love square forms and she has to choose who to be with? Hearts are broken, multiple times, and what will happen when tragedy strikes, and she has no one to turn to? ~ ALL OF THE MEMORIES AND EXPERIENCES OF SCARLETT'S FATHER, ARE MY OWN. THEY ACTUALLY HAPPENED TO ME ~

Elemental: Love in pieces #1 by kcnamiswan

Are you up for a steamy romance? One night, one mistake that will change her life forever. He never thought he would feel anything again, especially love, until he met her. Everybody thinks that she's the quiet type, Nobody knows who she really is except for her best friends Sarah, Natalia and Sky. All anybody knows is that she came here for one thing to graduate, and that's all she can possibly focus on, right? She's an all A's student and she never fails to win. Nobody expects such a goody two shoes to be as bad as she really is. There's no way a person can fall in love with someone overnight, right? Because that's impossible. I'm not supposed to be loved, and I'm not supposed to feel love. I'm a loner who stays by herself. The only exception is my friends, and that's just friendship. I will never ever fall in love. The idea of it makes me scared. For somebody to love me back is impossible because everybody that's ever loved me left me, either in death or in literal sense. I'm a curse that has not been broken. The Night Sky. He's the type of guy every girl wants, but only a select Few can get. At what cost will he pay? By pursuing this non-Blueblood. Because in his world, reputation is everything and this will taint it. But he doesn't care. He only cares about her. Everything about her is beautiful to him, which she seems to find impossible, and he doesn't know what to do because he's never felt anything before in his life and that, that is what scares them both the most. How can one's taste be so addictive, so powerful? Why am I so drawn to her? I've never felt this way about anything at all in my whole entire life. Ever. Nothing. I feel nothing. I've always felt nothing. So why does she make me feel something? I'm drawn to her, and I cannot stop. And I will not stop at any cost. I will get this girl because she is mine and she always will be. She just doesn't know it yet. I am a curse. People always leave me in death, but maybe she is my cure.

𝙸 𝙼𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝙰𝚜 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 by savythepro

I try not to stare most of the time, but for some reason, tonight, I just couldn't look away. I've seen many pretty girls before in so many different places; Including the light rail, but for some reason tonight, she was just so much lovelier than any other girl I've ever seen. Why am I even getting worked up over her anyways? It's not like I'll ever see her again. Well, that's a perfect excuse to keep looking! I'll never see her again, so why does it matter if I continue to look. Well then, that settles it. I'll continue to look... He was right. Normally, when I see a cute girl, I'm like eh, but because she's just so pretty, and also because I don't have much time left, I might as well. "I mean, come on dude, You might as well." What a perfect sign. I just said it, and now he just said it. Definitely means I gotta do it. I wanted to text him back to let him know I was going to. Even though he probably thinks ill chicken out at the last second. "Your right. I might as well." SHORT LOVE STORY FINISHED NOT OWNER OF COVER PHOTOS GIVE FEEDBACK IN COMMENTS (POSITIVE CRITICISM OF COURSE)

Love never dies - Klaus Michaelson by 1mixedlady20

I could hear her heart race and her breath get heavy. When she looked up at me, I saw tears run down her red cheeks. She flipped over onto her back and crawl away from me. I stood over her and I laughed at her helpless state. "I know a thousand ways to hurt you without spilling a drop of your blood. So, you either come quietly or in pain. Your choice?" I heard her cry and watched her tears stain her face. I almost wish Nik was here to see her cry in fear, it is so entertaining. Suddenly, I felt something pierce through my chest. My eyes widened. I gasped out in pain. My hands went to my heart. I inhaled some air quickly. I felt myself grow weak like I was falling to the ground. I was surprised that I was on the floor. I looked down at my hands. They had turned gray. I felt lifeless. The veins in my body rose to the top of my skin while the gray covered everything. The last thought I had before the end was one name. Nik? _________________________________________________________ Dawn Gilbert has just lost her parents. While her sister, Elena gets a new boyfriend and her brother, turns to drugs, she sticks to what she knows best. Her art and best friend, Tyler. But when weird stuff starts happening with her art and Elena's boyfriend turns out to be a vampire, their world gets turned upside down. She now has to handle witches, doppelgangers, vampires, werewolves, and familiar faces that keep popping up in art. She has this feeling that there is something more going on in her, but she just doesn't know what.

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Slide 1 of 10

Back To You cover

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Seeking Hope [BoyxBoy] cover

Even The Smallest Moments Count (Janoskians Fan Fiction) cover

Elemental: Love in pieces #1 cover

𝙸 𝙼𝚒𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝙰𝚜 𝚆𝚎𝚕𝚕 cover

Love never dies - Klaus Michaelson cover

Back To You

"Can you forget about me...?" I asked him as we stood in the frozen night. He shook his head. I smile, "Well, in that case..." I pause to step back a bit and look up at him. "I'm sorry...," With that, I fall back and into the river. All I could feel was the icey water slowly filling my lungs and then... 𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. I never meant for him to fall in love with me. However, when I woke up, I woke up in a white room, "A hospital room...?" I thought to myself. I look around wondering how and why I was here...and then I see him... right next to me. I slightly frowned and tried to get up. He gently placed a hand on my shoulder, urging me to lie back down. I fought against him, trying to get away from him. But he held me firmly, his eyes filled with concern and love. "Please, calm down. You scared me when you fell into the river. I thought I had lost you," he whispered, his voice breaking with emotion. I stopped struggling and looked into his eyes, seeing the pain and fear that I had caused him. I then looked down as I said, "I thought I'd make it easier for you." His face paled. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. I took a deep breath and confessed, "I never wanted you to fall in love with me." I say. He looked at me in shock, his grip on my shoulder loosening. "Why would you say that? Why would you think that would be easier for me?" he asked, his voice filled with confusion and hurt. I closed my eyes, unable to meet his gaze as I replied, "Because I don't deserve your love. I'm not who you think I am." He sat there in silence, processing my words. And then, without warning, he leaned in and kissed me softly on the lips. I pulled away, stunned by his action. "I don't care who you think you are. I love you, for you dumbass," he said.