"Ok listen up you fuckin' human! My name is Nale. I am an undead lich. A necromancer. A destroyer of worlds! AN EXPERT AT CROCHETING! W-wait, what!? Who the fuck put that in my lines!? FABIO! ONE THOUSAND YEARS IN THE 5TH FLOOR OF HELL JUST FOR THAT!! *ahem* Beware reader. Within this tome lies the stories of my travels. Things known only to those who go bump in the night, who stalk the streets and give paladins fright! Oh sweet Zelic that was a kick ass rhyme! I'll need to remember that... Oh and don't read this if sex, violence and murder offend you. Obviously if you hated my introduction, don't read this! Just go fuck yer self! Haaaa! I'M A FUCKING LICH BABY! YOU AIGHT GOT SHIT ON ME MUTHAFUCKA!!!"