Alone on the water
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WARNING: This fanfic may be triggering. He was the one; I didn't realize it till now...till he was gone. My best friend Niall Horan has always been the smiley, laughing, care free kind of guy, but then I noticed something about him. Scars started to appear on his arms, more and more every week. And I noticed that the funny, care free boy I used to know, changed. His smile started to fade, and he did along with it. I did manage to help him, for a while he was clean. But he still wasn't happy. I never asked why he did it; I thought it was too personal. But I always wondered why? Why would he do that to himself? He was so handsome, and funny, I would even say perfect. And it wasn't until now, that I noticed how much I really loved him. I did anything for him, I got anything for him, I just wanted to see my friend happy again. The crazy thing was, he needed me to be there for him, but in reality I needed him to help me. I guess it wasn't enough, because one day everything in my life changed. This is the story of how I lost my best friend and the first boy I've loved. -end of prologue-
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𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐀, niall horan
† 𝔩𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢 /ˈ𝔩ɪ𝔪ə𝔯ə𝔫𝔰/ 𝔞𝔡𝔧𝔢𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔳𝔢: 𝔞 𝔣𝔢𝔳𝔢𝔯𝔢𝔡 𝔰𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔡 𝔟𝔬𝔯𝔫 𝔬𝔣 𝔯𝔬𝔪𝔞𝔫𝔱𝔦𝔠 𝔣𝔦𝔵𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫; 𝔪𝔞𝔯𝔨𝔢𝔡 𝔟𝔶 𝔬𝔟𝔰𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔦𝔳𝔢 𝔱𝔥𝔬𝔲𝔤𝔥𝔱𝔰, 𝔩𝔬𝔫𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔣𝔬𝔯 𝔢𝔪𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔩 𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔦𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔠𝔦𝔱𝔶, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔞𝔫 𝔞𝔠𝔥𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔡𝔢𝔭𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔶; ∴ 𝔡𝔢𝔳𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 𝔡𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡 𝔦𝔫 𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔲𝔰𝔦𝔬𝔫 † "Then tell me," I rasp. "Tell me and I'll deal with it. I'll handle it. Just-don't shut me out." "I can't," she says again, voice breaking. "I can't tell you. I can't be with you. And I can't stand here and watch you break and know that I'm the reason." She swallows hard, her throat moving. "Please don't make me explain it. Please just... stop." I take a step toward her anyway, rain dripping from my eyelashes, my chest hollow. "I don't care if it kills me," I say, and it's not bravado; it's a man with nothing left to barter. "If that's the price, fine. At least then I get to be with you before it ends." She makes a small sound, half sob, half laugh, and it's the most human thing I've ever heard from her. "Don't say that," she whispers, almost fierce. "Don't ever say that." She holds my eyes for one last beat, lips parted like she might say something else - something that could undo all of this, something that could make the rain stop mattering. But she doesn't. Instead, she exhales, low and unsteady, and shakes her head. "I'm sorry," she says again, softer now, like a confession. Then she turns. And that's it.
This story starts in the late summer of 2016. "Well, I found Landslide while I was in a toxic relationship a couple of years ago, and it made me realize that I didn't need him to continue on with my life, even though he was a big part of it, so I guess it kinda stuck with me." I tell him honestly. He glances at me quickly and nods a little. "I get that, I've always felt that it's all about getting out of a comfort zone you've built up with someone that you might care deeply about, but that you know isn't good for you,". A story where I write how I would imagine Niall Horan being to be honest:)
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