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if you're reading this, you're too late

Reads 306
Votes 14
Parts 8
Time 1h 7m

Reads 306
Votes 14
Parts 8
Time 1h 7m

Mature

anger anxiety anxietydisorder bahavioralhospital bipolardisorder cutting death depression disorders end featured hard life mental mentalhealth pain passion suffering suicide thediamondawards

2:28 am- Wake up.
    2:29 am- Find that damn paper you misplaced.
    2:33 am- Grab the pen.
    2:34 am- Write your heart out.
    2:48 am- Re-read what you wrote.
    2:51 am- Go to your safe place.
    2:53 am- Cry as you remember all of the pain. All of the hurt-- everything.
    2:58 am- Get ready
    3:00 am- End it all.
    
    The end. So many times we argue about how the end must have heaven or hell, whether it will ever actually end with the light or just be dark. But some are quicker than others to reach that destination. They think about it--no, they're possessed by it. The light of the world is dim, and the after-life is so... pleasing. Death; that is their escape. The safe haven that they long for! It will end the pain, the suffering-- the hate. If they do the deed then--then they'll make it! And if they don't? They go to hell on Earth.
    
    Rated Mature for language and themes.
  
  Previously known as 'Beneath the Surface'All Rights Reserved

anger anxiety anxietydisorder bahavioralhospital bipolardisorder cutting death depression disorders end featured hard life mental mentalhealth pain passion suffering suicide thediamondawards

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8 parts

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Altered by LuellaOpal

Have you ever met someone who alters the course of your life? For good or for bad, they've come in, given and taken, and then- BOOM! Your life was never the same. There's always a change, an altering of reality. When you meet those people, the reality that you've known your whole life is suddenly gone and a new one has taken its place. When those moments happen, there's no going back. You can try to return to the way things were but nothing, and I mean nothing, can take you back to exactly how it was. That's what happened to us. I think that's why we're still trying so desperately to get back to some sort of normalcy. Four years later and we're still on the ground, crawling, in search of the happiness that was lost that June. Summers will never be the same. Midnight walks through my neighborhood will never be the same. Field parties with bonfires and loud music will never be the same. I still don't know why you left and what lead you to the decision you made. What I do know is that we're here. We're alive and we're pushing forward to the future. A future that you're not a part of. But in some ways, I'm glad you're not a part of it. I just wish it wasn't like this. *** TRIGGER WARNING*** SA, abuse, suicide, substance abuse, and mental illness. This is a complete story that is much like life; fast, full of surprises, and not always how we want it to be. This has been a project of mine for over three years. It was self-published on Amazon, but after some issues in publication, I decided to just upload it on here. I hope you fall in love with these characters like I have. The friends in this story are trying to make names for themselves, figure out who they are, who they can trust, how to love, and how to separate themselves from a restrictive community. As in any coming of age story, they will experience growing pains... but will they survive them before its too late? PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.

It was under control by myrealnameisasecret

Jules Hart returns to the psychiatric ward, her life has fallen apart once again. She had it under control. Or was it all just her imagination? She encounters trials and tribulations with her eating disorder recovery, being forced into situations like no other; ending in painful repercussions and unhealthy coping mechanisms. After deciding she no longer wants help, Jules escapes the psychiatric ward; resulting in her attempting to take her own life. The consequence of her actions, broke Tom's heart in the process, all the while he held her sick body. Her life has led her down the path of having to recover from not only the torturous eating disorder, but the addictive self harm and torment of the suicidal ideation. Let's just hope Jules gets her happy ending... ~ "GET OFF ME! GET THE HELL OFF ME! I DON'T LIKE BEING TOUCHED! GET THE FUCK OFF ME. TOM PLEASE HELP ME. TOM! PLEASE GET THEM OFF ME. I'M SO SCARED!" Jules's fragile body was making a forceful connection with the cold and unsympathetic ground. Her bloodline exiting and tainting her body and all of the surroundings. Her painful and emotional screams echoed the white corridor, while Jules's body shook and shivered, and dizzy spells with blurry covered eyes; forced her body and mind to experience a feeling of disconnection. The fit of fear that swirled in the pit of Jules's stomach made her head jolt violently side to side, along with front and back; causing her forehead to strike the floor. ~TW: Eating disorder, suicide and self harm mentioned throughout~

Barcodes ( Attempt Series 1) by vvernxxx

When life gets tough... what will you do? When you feel your world is about to shattered, who will you ask for help? When you have no one but your self, will you help yourself? Or will you end it? In the midst of the crowd where people has a lot to say to you, will you find the people who you can lean on? With them I your life, will they color it with such nice colors? With these question... I have learned that there will always be a strangers that could help you. Strangers that will light up your world. Strangers that will listen to you. Strangers that will give their shoulders for you to lean on. Strangers that will color your world. And strangers that will help you get up from rock bottom. __________________ Just trust me and you'll be fine. :)

The Black Canvas by alicoham

The canvas symbolizes the mind. A white canvas is a healthy, normal functioning mind. The colors that get painted on are different emotions. But no matter how much paint is on that canvas, it is still a white canvas underneath. Now when it is a pure black canvas, it is a mind that is tortured. A mind that contains disorders like anxiety, depression, schizophrenia, bipolar, PTSD, etc. An unstable mind. :A girl plagued with bad memories finds somebody who she had been looking for all her life. Well, I wouldn't say all her life, being as she is only 20, but the majority of her life, she has been lonely. The more she continues to get to know this special person, the more she starts to question her own thoughts. When things don't add up, she is desperate for answers.

WOULD ANYONE MISS ME? by frankensteinreaper

I've put this book on hold,more than a year.It excites me that it's finally coming out! Would you miss me if I was dead or alive?Cause I really can't tell anymore from the action's your doing!Hell I barely can tell if you still love,care,admire and etc me and for that......I try my best to keep my head up and try not to let it get the best of me!?What's going to happen when/if I die before you?Where will you be?Will you show up to pay any respect or vanish like a coward cause you think it's not your fault?Why don't you just blame me already and tell me that you don't care if I live or die anymore!?I'm just waiting to hear it all come out! (4/10/2016,12:21AM)

Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1) by MarcelinePierson

I've always had a feeling that I would die young. Ever since I started pondering on deaths door I've had this feeling. I could care less about the hell and heaven shenanigans, but death. I want it. The end of my life. I want to be in my suit, in my coffin, in the ground and my soul to be gone. I've been waiting for 16 years, yet no sign of death opening his door no matter how many times I ring his doorbell. Yeah, I enjoy thinking about my end. Especially at moments like this... *** #1 physical #1 cuteguys #1 addiction #2 self-esteem *** Started: 7 November 2022 Finished: 18 April 2024

Just My Luck by inure0tea

Many people sit down to talk about their hobbies or interests. The only things occupying my mind are memories. Most of them aren't even pleasant. Here are the ones that haven't been entirely forgotten. Some are more vivid than others. ... I will be changing the names of people who might decide they're offended seeing their wrongdoings written on display for the world to see, no matter how badly I want to see them reprimanded.

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) by wonderland_smile

I'm lost. Broken. And nobody knows. I help people, and when you help people, you don't get help. I couldn't look at myself think how a mess I was. It was too late for me to be fixed. Nobody could help me. I was too deep in it for being saved. I had too many scars and thought. I already had a broken mind. When I tried to kill myself and failed at it, they brought me to a mental facility. There I meet other teens with different stories and each with their problems. The longer I'm here, the more stories I get the knowledge. We come together to tell our stories so that we can move on from what hurt us in the past and what waits for us in the future. We're all strangers, but we're all living in this messed-up place call life. So can we overcome our broken minds. -2014-

Dim. by decipheringBella

Tired of trying to be everything. Trying to be perfect. Wrong paths and wrong people and missed opportunities. Am I letting my mental illness take over my life? A look into the mind of a BPD, Anxiety ridden woman. With no identity but her Panic. With my ways it's hard to keep down anything healthy, relationships that don't last but stay with me like my own personal demons. And evil around the corner you'd never see coming. The pain changes you. Trauma changes you. It strips you away from yourself. BPD strips away your identity sometimes I guess this is my way of finding myself again, through writing and reflecting and realizing it is okay to be hurting. This book will include poetry and scenes and think pieces. It will be vulnerable. It will be raw. It will remind you of your own loss. - "She." Xx🥀xX

Cold Water by adaline_meadows

[BWWM] I was only twelve years old when the world turned cold. The day my mom died in that car accident, I felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over my heart. My dad, who had always been my hero, suddenly became a stranger, filled with rage and blame. He couldn't see that I was hurting, too; he only saw me as a reminder of his loss. The accusations cut deep. He said it was my fault for being there, for not doing something to save her. For being the reason she was in the car in the first place. In the years that followed, things only got worse. The abuse started gradually-a harsh word here, a shove there-but it escalated, leaving scars that I carried long after the physical pain faded. I was drowning in my own despair, struggling to keep my head above water while my father's anger raged like a storm around me. I only had a break from his anger when I started living with Aunt Dina-my mom's older sister. Well, that was because she found me nearly dead on my bed after I took a dozen pills. I was tired of living. I had hit rock bottom. The harsh whispers that followed me around and the stares at school. I pretended not to notice, like it didn't bother me. But it did. I was alone. Then came Athalia, a ray of sunshine cutting through my darkness. With her, I felt something I hadn't felt in years-happiness. She became my light through the darkness and my lifeline. ••••••••••• ● Warnings ⚠️ ~ Mention of suicide ~ Anxiety attacks ~ Rape attempt ~ Mention of self-harm ~ Depression

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Slide 1 of 10

It was under control cover

Barcodes ( Attempt Series 1) cover

The Black Canvas cover

WOULD ANYONE MISS ME? cover

Noah (Obsessions in Overdrive #1) cover

Just My Luck cover

Broken mind (Under heavy editing!) cover

Cold Water cover

Altered

Have you ever met someone who alters the course of your life? For good or for bad, they've come in, given and taken, and then- BOOM! Your life was never the same. There's always a change, an altering of reality. When you meet those people, the reality that you've known your whole life is suddenly gone and a new one has taken its place. When those moments happen, there's no going back. You can try to return to the way things were but nothing, and I mean nothing, can take you back to exactly how it was. That's what happened to us. I think that's why we're still trying so desperately to get back to some sort of normalcy. Four years later and we're still on the ground, crawling, in search of the happiness that was lost that June. Summers will never be the same. Midnight walks through my neighborhood will never be the same. Field parties with bonfires and loud music will never be the same. I still don't know why you left and what lead you to the decision you made. What I do know is that we're here. We're alive and we're pushing forward to the future. A future that you're not a part of. But in some ways, I'm glad you're not a part of it. I just wish it wasn't like this. * TRIGGER WARNING* SA, abuse, suicide, substance abuse, and mental illness. This is a complete story that is much like life; fast, full of surprises, and not always how we want it to be. This has been a project of mine for over three years. It was self-published on Amazon, but after some issues in publication, I decided to just upload it on here. I hope you fall in love with these characters like I have. The friends in this story are trying to make names for themselves, figure out who they are, who they can trust, how to love, and how to separate themselves from a restrictive community. As in any coming of age story, they will experience growing pains... but will they survive them before its too late? PLEASE READ THE TRIGGER WARNINGS.