Not as I imagined

You know that feeling when your so used to the pain its stops hurting and all you feel is numb. Thats the way I feel everyday, a lot of the time I think "is it worth it to live". I feel like I have two sides to my brain; the part that wants to die and the part that wants to live. The part that wants to die just wants the pain to go away. The other side wants to prove the people who have put me down wrong. What do I choose? Death or life?