I Wanna
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WpMetadataReadComplete Thu, May 26, 2016<5 mins
I wanna "accidentally" take one too many pills. I wanna "accidentally" step in front of a train. I wanna "accidentally" get my head caught in a top tangling from something. I wanna "accidentally" cut too deep. I wanna "accidentally" step in front of a car. I wanna "accidentally" engulf a lot of water at once. I wanna leave. I wanna get away. I wanna disappear, and vanish from all of existence. I need out I need an escape. I'm tired of the endless and sleepless nights, because of all the shit running through my brain. I feel empty and lost, nowhere to go, nothing to do, and I need out. I need out of this shit hole. Away from life and people, away from everything. I never asked to be born, I never asked to be a human, I never asked for any of this. So why am I suffering so bad? I'm such an innocent person, so why me? Please just help me. Let me go, let me leave. End my pain and suffering. Please, I beg you...
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Warning: I am a weirdo. This will contain some thoughts of mine, some poems, some deep shit, some thoughts I have as I go through the journey of self-exploration, lmao. Some chapters may be seen as too controversial but whatever you know. I mean, reading this is your choice. You don't have to. I mean, I'd like you all to read every chapter but it's not a story book so you may skip some chapters you don't like and read the ones that you do like. P.S. I do not deny that my thoughts are somewhat influenced by my environment and experiences. Also, this is the real me. Some people think I'm quiet and cold-hearted but on the inside I'm actually a big softie with feelings. To be honest, it's kinda my fault since I hate revealing my emotions to other people or even asking for help until I have to. And even then, I start hating myself for being such a weakling. That is a major character flaw of mine that I must overcome!

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