A Walk Through Hell

There are two things you need to know about me: First, I'm not one to talk very much. I'm quiet, yes, but I'm also observant. I see things that other people sometimes fail to recognize, so for most of my life I've more or less just let my loud, energetic, and sometimes overwhelming twin brother, Wesley, take center stage. Second, I always have thought that my memoirs would be written in a different way then, well, this. I imagined myself on my death bed-all my loved ones surrounding me sharing stories of the many achievements (Wesley, of course the loudest), and to my left would be a young man who's greatest claim to fame would be recording my life into a best selling biography. I would, of course, tell him what to write so that he did not miss out on any of my spectacular moments of heroism and the many moments that I 'got the girl' (because you simply cannot trust anyone now a days).

Unfortunately, things do not always go exactly as planned and I cannot wait until I'm one hundred years old for my devote fans to hear this particular story. Because man, it's one hell of a story, and why would I deprive an audience of such an entertaining tale? So let's just consider this a prequel for the best seller that will be my biography, shall we?