I Understand You..

**PAST TENSE**
So its the first day of my new school and iv been told that it isn't a big school, maybe the size of an old church. Well that what it looked like from the outside when i went to my intervention day.
That was last Friday, and I'm starting Tuesday afternoon.
If I'm honest the butterflies are going mad because I'm so nervous, But its okay. I'll face-time my best friend she knows how t calm me down. Always that one person in your life that you can rely on.
This school is a whole new start for me, i haven't been in school for 5 months, you say that's long. Try going in everyday for 2 months continuance panic attacks.
It honestly was so tiring that i just couldn't take anymore that one day i turned to my mum and said 'i quit'.
After that, well during that i was self harming. I was so good at hiding it that my mum still doesn't know iv ever self harmed in my life, the way i saw it after a few nights of deep cuts is..
**NOW**

* what will my children think, because we are in a generation where there isn't a stop to anything it either gets worse, improves or carry's on.'.
I really wouldn't want my kids to feel that the world hates them, would you?
Like they are on there own and if they tell there mum there suffering with depression that she wont go mad and start calling you mental, and that you don't need help and that you are just using it for attention.
because girls and boys i got that, of my own mother my grandparents and my older siblings.
yes i was judged for having depression over the loss of my father. I lost him 6 years ago prier to this log in.
And that is the main reason I'm writing this, to escape the fear of my bipolar and to tell you guys all about my recovery, and how to recover.

If you need a chat, comment your Snachat or Instagram and i'll head on over so you can rant!