I needed me
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- Parts 10
Ongoing1h 4m
Last published Wed, Aug 31, 2016
"I don't know how to do this, Kaden! Don't you see?!" I was nearly screaming at him while tears were threatening to cascade down my face. I clutched my throat with my cold fingers and felt a little bit of relief. Not from yelling at him; he didn't deserve that. I didn't know how to do this relationship thing. It wasn't me...no matter how much I wanted it to be. I wasn't content with myself so I couldn't allow anyone else in.
His head was turned to look at whatever was to his left. Guess he can't stand to look at me either. "Oh, Sienna." It was almost inaudible, but I heard him. He knew me better than I knew myself. He knew exactly what I was thinking. I felt a bit of my heart break.
My mother was right. I was a lot ruder to myself than anyone else every was. But if I put the thoughts in my mind before anyone else could that meant they couldn't hurt me when they tried.
He felt like he was miles and miles away from me but he was just a mere 3 feet away, standing directly in front of me.
I had pushed him away many times before, but none were as bad as this time. The look in his eyes, when he finally looked back at me, said it all. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to continue. Suddenly, it felt like Kaden had fallen from my grasp. It felt like my air supply was being cut off. I so desperately wanted to scream 'No, Kaden! I'm sorry. I don't know how to do this but I need you to show me. I need for you to believe in me.' But, unfortunately, that wasn't how the world worked.
Instead of swallowing my pride I let the man that I loved, yet neglected to tell him, walk away from me for the last time. I felt it was better for him. Maybe I'd stop hurting him if he just left. He'd been so powerful when I first met him...so full of life. I'd taken that away from him and had no right in doing so. Instead, I watched him walk away as the tears started to fall and the rest of my heart slowly started to crumble inside of me. I felt so lost already.
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#643
selfesteem
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Remember Me? [One-Shot]
Remember me? Few years ago... A night to remember. On a shallow road, with a seemingly never-ending rain pouring down heavily, and streetlights barely illuminating the place, silence seemed so right. It was an almost empty road but with two people. Few light rays hit them, making their silhouettes visible from afar. Drenched under the rain, the girl was standing like a statue. And in front of her was the boy, her long-term boyfriend. Her soul mate. The one she had been waiting for. But what is this? He smirked, finally breaking their silence. He told her 'it's over' so quickly, like they just played a game and she lost. He called it quits between her, and walked away without regret. His face, his gestures and his words were like spears stabbed into her soul. He didn't care. And being left alone, her shoulders shook and she covered her face with her hands as tears finally escaped from her eyes. Her knees felt numb and suddenly, she knelt down, still crying. Can you still remember me? I ask you this question. I was that girl few years ago. A fool, naïve girl who still believed that you're the one of the million. That I'm destined to only one man, a prince charming, and I believed it was you. But all of those were few years ago. My thoughts were changed. I began looking forward to an early death. The dream that I've always wanted to, a happy death, became impossible. How happy can I die, if forever, I will always carry and will not forget the memories and the pain you left me? But now my time has come. Time flew too fast. Few minutes more and I will leave Earth. Few short minutes more. I looked at the Seconds hand of the clock nearby. The clock is ticking. The time is running. I still have time to forgive you. Few more time to decide. But thinking about our past... will I still have the heart to forgive you to be able to achieve a happy death?Complete
My Past Mate Rejected Me
"You rejected me!! Not the other way around!!" I yelled at him, tears streaming down my face. "I know." He says, he head hangs low. "And I'm sorry. I should never have rejected you." He went to take my hands into his but I turned away from him. Tears were still going down my face. How could he, after all this time, have the nerve to come here. He knew that he had hurt me. Now he is sorry and wants me back? No. "Please. Believe me. I messed up big time! I didn't know what I had until it was gone!" He said. I heard every word. They cut through the wall of my heart and placed themselves on it . It hurt. But what he did to me had hurt even more. "That's right. You screwed up. Consider me lost." I said. Then I walked away.Complete
Mated
I thought I could hide forever, but fate had other plans. I can't remember what it feels like to be happy. I'm sure I felt it long ago, back when I thought I was in love. Great husband, great job, great life. Great big lie. At least, that is what my life has turned into now - a series of lies to hide the fact that I am not who I appear to be. The lies keep me hidden and safe... for now. Surely, my ex-husband would never think to look for me in this sleepy little town. As I settle into my new life, I'm afraid it won't be forever. Could I really give up my job and best friend to go back on the run? Then, I meet Hunter and my world flips upside down. One night of passion is all I can offer, but he wants more. That's the last thing I need, yet I find myself craving what I can't have. I can't deny this intense attraction that keeps pulling us together like a magnet, and he's not going to take no for an answer. My heart fills with hope, but it only takes a moment for it to shatter. I'm not the only one keeping secrets, and Hunter's are even bigger than my own. A single mistake is all it takes for me to put his life at risk, and sooner or later my web of lies is going to catch up to me. With everything spiraling out of control, I can only be sure of one thing... my life will never be the same. If you like paranormal romances with fated mates, intense conflict, and Alpha Heroes, you'll love Mated. Recommended for readers 17+Complete
Finding Purpose (+18) ✔️
***this book contains suicidal thoughts and tendencies, may not be appropriate for younger audiences*** In which she looks for the purpose of life. Lily Carter's parents died in a car crash leaving her and Laura, girl was depressed long before her parents passed away and with all the problems turning up now, Lily felt more miserable - if that's even possible. With her journey to look for life's purpose and grab the small pinch of HOPE - which is ironically her second name -, will she finally snap at the pressure and finally end it all? or will a small light lit her darkened world of grief and loneliness? * "So you know. The little goth girl who gets bullied is indeed a mess. There's this mess in her head that eats her alive everyday isn't it? What to do now Kaden? Tell the whole neighborhood and recieve an award for taking out a crazy in this world?" I spit like vomit. His eyes warmed up as I finished, "Lily. It isn't like that" "What is it then? People stopped caring... they gave up, why aren't you?" I fought my tears. "Because I feel the need to care. Did Leigh hurt you? Did she hit you?" he finally noticed the unusual redness of my cheek. I don't like the way he told me he needed to care for me. I felt like an obligation, a responsibility that he is carrying and carrying leads to getting tired and when people gets tired, they give up. I don't want them to give up on me. But they will, so it's good not to make them care for me in the first place. "I never needed anyone. I stopped needing anyone before, why start now?" I uttered the words again. Why? There is nothing to fight for. No mama. No papa. No sister to love me. No one. So why would I waste my life and the time of others to fix what is already broken - and someone who doesn't want to be fixed? If I may add. Maybe I gave up. No, scratch that. I gave up a long time ago - when my parents died, my hope and purpose went away with them.Complete
Alkaria - unedited
I hear the clanking of metal loud and rigid from behind me, I feel the wind rush past as I sprint, they are still chasing me. I'll be honest I don't know what to do, quite frankly it's hard to think straight right now. I feel my body shutting down as the adrenaline is losing its punch, I can't run any faster. I'm always running, they are always chasing me. I don't even know why they chase me, I don't know what I did and like them they won't say. Do they even know? Am I just unlucky? Someone they picked at random to be the new subject of there torture? I wont let it happen. That's why I'll stay free, never fully contained. I think about the one I love, Charlie. I don't know where he is, I don't even know if he is safe. "Hey! Weapon down sarge, we don't want to kill her!" A guard's shout smacks me out of my train of thought. By this point I've gained some distance due to them having heavy armour. This stops me in my tracks though, I hear the guards slow down too. I stop, I realise, they want me alive. They aren't going to kill me, they don't want me dead. I have a gun, if I just point it at myself what are they going to do? I turn around and I look at all of the guards who have stopped in their tracks heaving in confusion. It's silent, even the wind is merely a whisper, all that can be heard is the panting of everyone on scene. They want me alive, they want me alive. I turn around, towards my chasers. I notice the guards straighten as I do so, instinctively I hold my gun to my neck, one bullet left, not enough for all of them but enough to kill me. They don't want me dead. I look to see all of them freeze in shock before one of the guards takes a step forward. I can't see their face, I can't see anyone's face but I feel like I need to know who this is. Before I can react they raise their gun and shoot. Pain explodes in my leg and I fall, all that running, for nothing. All I see now is black, I can't hear everything but I still feel conscious.
REVISED:The Boy With A Touch Of Cancer (BxB)
"Leo pinned me against the wall with his hips. His hands gently gripped my wrists, keeping my arms above my head against the cool brick behind me. His quicksilver eyes were filled with such an intense, carnal desire I couldn't even look into them, so I looked over his shoulder. I saw a few kids from the group standing out by their cars who would easily be able to see what we were doing...or at least what Leo was doing to me. At that moment, my mind started wandering to all the things that I could be doing to him right now...but I stopped that train of thought immediately, as it started heading to all the wrong places... All the dirty places. I glanced back at Leo. His gaze was still as intense as it was before. He smirked at me and said confidently, "You can't ignore me forever, Ethan. You're eventually gonna fall for my charms..." Ethan Carter was focused on 2 things. 1. School (obviously) and 2. Getting over ex (it's proving to be, harder than he thought), but now he has to add dying to that list, and suddenly having feelings for a boy. Leo Malone makes Ethan feel things he's never felt for another guy. Leo's sweet, patient, and understanding...the only problem is, he's a guy. Ethan tries to ignore the fact that his heart flutters every time he sees Leo, or that he can't ever stop thinking about him, but if having cancer has taught him one thing, it's that you have to live in the present, as you may not have a future.Complete
You're Mine (COMPLETED)
Run.I tell myself don't you stop running don't you dare he is hot on your heels he will get me he will hurt me so bad ..my legs are killing me but I have no other choice I have to run and fast he will get me suddenly i'm on the floor before I could move an Inch he was hovering over me I look up at him scared..scared? terrified no petrified now I'm shivering so bad,I can hear my heart I feel it's going to get out of my chest in seconds "where do you think you're going, baby?" I heard his deep voice whispered in my ears I shivered not a good shiver you get when you're happy but a bad shiver a shiver which you get when you're scared as hell "Don't hurt me" my voice was raspy whispering almost unaudible but he heard.he chuckled and looked deep deep in my eyes ohh how I hate how his eyes makes me so weak at the knees how they scare the crap out of me. you may think he is gorgeous I thought when I first met him but no that's completely wrong his look has nothing to do with his roughness you'll think he's sweet but he is a monster. when you're forced to live with someone who is scary even more scary than a ghost who has one leg ,half burned face and One eye. "Oh,why do you think I'll do that to you,love?" He said his hand touching my cheek I flinched at his touch. his voice is deep so deep he chuckled at my reaction he carried me bridal style "where are you taking me?" I ask my voice is weaker than ever even my tongue is scared to say a word. "Home" he said home?home?home? Please don't take me there I wish I could say that but I wouldn't dare.I close my eyes hoping when I open them I find that this is all a nightmare I wish that he never existed I wish I never saw him I opened my eyes again but no it's not a nightmare he is real he will take me 'home' " oh andYou're not getting away so easy..You WILL be punished for running away from me" Punished? that word can scare me to death.Ami I in hell? why is god punishing me like that?Complete
From An Omega To A Hunter
"Look your too weak I can't accept you as a mate you'll only shame yourself and this pack " my own mate said to me . . . . My mate rejected me on my eighteen birthday and the day after my own parents was backing him, so to telI you the truth I couldn't handle that but as much as I cried over it I knew the reason he did it tho, every pack has a trial or test that the alpha's mates has to take in order to become the Luna of the pack I know it sounds stupid but that's the law that the alpha king declared after the war that took place, most alpha lost there mate because they weren't able to defend them self or the pack so to put it simple if I don't have strength and knowledge I can't be Luna Being the alphas reject mate was not a pretty repetition for me, especially since i know that there's gonna be contest to pick out the most fairest she- wolf of them all while I'll be at home sulking about it, so in that instance I made up my mind and left the pack and everyone behind as well. After that I found myself being Something I never dreamed of 'a hunter' and not just any hunter but 'an assassin hunter' never have I heard of a werewolf being a hunter much less an omega, most would have laughed but now I'm feared. After four years of my disappearance I was sent on mission back to my old pack, somewhere i never dreamed of seeing again but here i was seeing the people i once called family and the place i once called homeComplete
Remember me? Few years ago... A night to remember. On a shallow road, with a seemingly never-ending rain pouring down heavily, and streetlights barely illuminating the place, silence seemed so right. It was an almost empty road but with two people. Few light rays hit them, making their silhouettes visible from afar. Drenched under the rain, the girl was standing like a statue. And in front of her was the boy, her long-term boyfriend. Her soul mate. The one she had been waiting for. But what is this? He smirked, finally breaking their silence. He told her 'it's over' so quickly, like they just played a game and she lost. He called it quits between her, and walked away without regret. His face, his gestures and his words were like spears stabbed into her soul. He didn't care. And being left alone, her shoulders shook and she covered her face with her hands as tears finally escaped from her eyes. Her knees felt numb and suddenly, she knelt down, still crying. Can you still remember me? I ask you this question. I was that girl few years ago. A fool, naïve girl who still believed that you're the one of the million. That I'm destined to only one man, a prince charming, and I believed it was you. But all of those were few years ago. My thoughts were changed. I began looking forward to an early death. The dream that I've always wanted to, a happy death, became impossible. How happy can I die, if forever, I will always carry and will not forget the memories and the pain you left me? But now my time has come. Time flew too fast. Few minutes more and I will leave Earth. Few short minutes more. I looked at the Seconds hand of the clock nearby. The clock is ticking. The time is running. I still have time to forgive you. Few more time to decide. But thinking about our past... will I still have the heart to forgive you to be able to achieve a happy death?
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