Eleutheromania

Eleutheromania

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WpMetadataNoticeLast published Mon, Aug 5, 2013
It all started back in elementary school when you realized you could break a pencil in half, and everyone would think your the strongest person in the world . Realizing that you could break something so easily, felt so good. It was as if your bones were creaking for you to do more. To make more people smile, and to show that you aren't just some little girl. It was so fun at the time. It was so overpowering. . . Then, as you get older you start to change. Not only physically, but mentally. That feeling starts to turn into a obsession, and living in one of the roughest parts in town you can't help but loose control sometimes! . . . Or is that only me? I started off with that one snap of the pencil, and then I went to sneaking around town at night. Then, I went to parties and got drunk, and it was so good. Until, it became to much. The screaming, and the yelling, all of it! Was too much! They always ruined it, he always ruined the fun. . . But it's stopped now. The screaming has turned into a whisper, the fighting has turned into hugging, I know it has. But, before you go ahead and get too crazy, make sure you know what your doing. Or you will end up in a mental hospital. Just like I did. My mother thinks it's just my hormones playing with my brain but I'd rather call it Eleutheromania: An intense and irresistible desire for freedom. . .
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#11
eleutheromania
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so, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been so exhausted. I'm not better, I'm not sure if i ever will be, but I'm not numb, not entirely. I can't say how I'm feeling, or what i am going to write, but if you want it, it's here. This is for you. For everyone who was made to be the villain by those meant to be by their sides. For everyone with a sensitive heart made to grow strong much too quickly. For everyone who struggles to get out of bed in the morning. For everyone who never could find the words to say why. For everyone who struggles to feel and for everyone who feels too much. For everyone who had to pick themselves back up. For everyone who had to parent themselves. For everyone fighting an invisible battle. For everyone who has been underestimated. For everyone who has to flee to other worlds to cope. For everyone who found other means to silence their voices. For everyone who was silenced. For everyone who was over powered. For everyone who was made to be less. For everyone who had to watch someone else suffer and stay silent. For everyone asking themselves, why? Why would you do this? What did I do? Why is this happening to me? It was never your fault.

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