Hairy, Dumb, and Creepy
- Reads 41
- Votes 5
- Parts 2
Ongoing8m
Last published Mon, Jun 6, 2016
This is a parody. To Twilight. I have read the books and seen the movies and I'm sorry that I have to say the Bella is the stupidest protagonist I have ever read about. So, in honor of the Twilight books I will write this parody. Even if the Twilight days are far over I hope you enjoy.
I love votes and especially comments. I would also love to hear who's team you are on. Hairy Jacob? Or creepy anti-social Edward?
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#408
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Crescent Sun: Twilight Saga After Breaking Dawn (2nd Place Watty Awards 2011)
Bella and Edward are living peacful after their fight with the Volturi. But a visit from the Denali's is going to change that. How is Bella going to react when she finds out that Tanya wants to steal the love of her life? Could Edward leave her to be with Tanya? Or will Tanya try to kill Bella so she will be out of the picture all together? Shortly after the Cullens start school, Renesmee and Jacob start becoming more closer and start developing a romantic relationship. How will Bella and Edward feel about their daughter already getting romantic with Jacob? And how are Bella and Edward going to react when they found out that Renesmee and Jacob want to get married when Renesmee isnt fully grown adult yet? And what will the Volturi do when they find out a Wolf and a Vampire want to be married? Find out in my version of what happens after Breaking DawnComplete
𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐢𝐧 | sam uley
𝒷𝓊𝓇𝒾𝑒𝒹 𝒹𝑜𝓌𝓃 𝒹𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝑜𝓊𝓉 𝑜𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒸𝒽, 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓈𝑒𝒸𝓇𝑒𝓉 𝓌𝑒 𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓋𝑜𝓌𝑒𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝓀𝑒𝑒𝓅 𝒾𝓉, 𝒻𝓇𝑜𝓂 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝒾𝓃 𝓈𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓉𝓃𝑒𝓈𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓃𝑜 𝓇𝑜𝑜𝓂 𝒾𝓃 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓇 𝒹𝓇𝑒𝒶𝓂𝓈 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓇𝑒𝑔𝓇𝑒𝓉𝓈 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓃𝑜 𝒾𝒹𝑒𝒶 ⏤ ✷ "𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐛𝐨𝐲𝐬." "𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐮𝐬, 𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐜𝐡." "𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐥𝐮𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐚𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚." ✷ ⏤ In which Robin Hale tries to win Sam Uley's heart through his stomach ⏤ unbeknownst to her that he had given her his heart the first day they met. Oh, and she's a vampire, he's a wolf, and there's a long-standing turf war between their two families. But their story can't turn out like Romeo and Juliet if one of them is already dead... right? ☾ ❍ ☽ [ star-crossed lovers, imprint/supernatural soulmates ] [ eclipse - breaking dawn - currently 70k+ words ] *third person pov*
Skin Deep | J. HALE ✓
[Just so everyone that reads this book knows, I have made the decision to just leave this book to rest. I won't edit it ever probably and no future sequels are even on the horizon. Therefore, the book will feel incomplete at the end as the sequel would've filled the gap between the last chapter and the epilogue, as well as filling the New Moon gap with mainly original content as I would've had her not be in Forks during New Moon. But I want to focus on writing my own original books, so I will probably never revisit this book to edit it, or at least not anytime soon! Sorry for anyone who is disappointed so if you read, just don't fully judge it too harshly please.] ❝I am not my hair. I am not my skin. I am the soul that lives within.❞ [the twilight saga] [twilight] [complete] © 2016-2018 | freaksandmonsters plot credit | @vaIeskas cover credit | @lokidyinginsideComplete
A New Cullen Sister
*Twilight series fanfiction* *Set after Breaking Dawn It has been a few months since the last encounter between the Cullens and the Volturi. Life has been carrying on as normal as possible for a coven of vampires. Carlisle and Esme travel to New York for a medical conference. Alice has predicted that they will return to Forks with a new member to their family, a chronically ill human at that. With the Volturi battle still fresh in their minds, how will everyone cope with the new addition? Will the Volturi intervene again? Disclaimer: I do not own the characters from the Twilight series, they are property of Stephenie Meyer. Any non-Twilight characters, as well as the storyline are mine. Any similarities to real people or events are entirely coincidental. *Slightly mature content.Complete
𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢'𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 | carlisle cullen ✔︎
𝒾'𝓋𝑒 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝒷𝓇𝑜𝓀𝑒, 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝒷𝓊𝓈𝓉, 𝒷𝑒𝑒𝓃 𝓈𝓃𝒶𝓇𝑒𝒹 𝓈𝑜 𝓁𝑜𝓋𝑒 𝓁𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝓊𝓃𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓅𝓇𝑒𝓅𝒶𝓇𝑒𝒹, 𝒷𝒶𝒷𝓎 𝒷𝓊𝓉 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾'𝓋𝑒 𝒻𝑜𝓊𝓃𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊, 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝒾'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒾'𝓋𝑒 𝑔𝑜𝓉 𝑒𝓋𝑒𝓇𝓎𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔, 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇 ✧✧✧ "𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐯𝐚𝐦𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝." "𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐚𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐳𝐞𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐤𝐥𝐞." "𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭." ✧✧✧ In all his 365 years of life, Carlisle Cullen lacked the one thing he desired most - a partner to spend his eternal days with. Residing in Forks, Washington, he and his family lived relatively peacefully under a near constant cover of clouds and rain. But that all changed when Emmaline Clement found herself back in her mother's hometown. twilight - new moon - eclipse - breaking dawn pt 1 & 2 ✔️ { approx 111k words } complete: 6/9/2025 🌼🩸 [ soulmates 💘 ] *third person POV* ~ no smut warnings, so read at your own discretionComplete
ᴅᴀʀᴋɴᴇꜱꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ ─── ᴇᴍᴍᴇᴛᴛ ᴄᴜʟʟᴇɴ ²
ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇᴠᴇɴᴛꜱ ɪɴᴠᴏʟᴠɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇᴡʙᴏʀɴ ᴀʀᴍʏ, ʙᴇʟʟᴀ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴏᴛᴛᴇ ᴡᴇʀᴇ ꜰɪɴᴀʟʟʏ ꜱᴀꜰᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ʜᴀʀᴍ. ɪᴛ ᴡᴀꜱ ɴᴏᴡ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ʙᴇʟʟᴀ ᴛᴏ ɢᴇᴛ ᴍᴀʀʀɪᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ʜᴇʀ ʙᴇʟᴏᴠᴇᴅ ᴇᴅᴡᴀʀᴅ. ᴀꜱ ꜰᴏʀ ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴏᴛᴛᴇ, ꜱʜᴇ ᴡᴀꜱ ʟɪᴠɪɴɢ ɪɴ ʙʟɪꜱꜱ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴀɴ ᴏꜰ ʜᴇʀ ᴅʀᴇᴀᴍꜱ. ʜᴏᴡᴇᴠᴇʀ, ꜱʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ꜱʜᴀᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɢᴜᴛ ꜰᴇᴇʟɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴡᴀꜱ ɢᴏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ʜᴀᴘᴘᴇɴ ᴀɴᴅ ʀᴜɪɴ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʜᴀᴘᴘɪɴᴇꜱꜱ. ʜᴏᴡ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴄʜᴀʀʟᴏᴛᴛᴇ ᴄᴏᴘᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜɪꜱ ɴᴇᴡ ᴛʜʀᴇᴀᴛ? ᴡɪʟʟ ꜱʜᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴇᴍᴍᴇᴛᴛ ᴇᴠᴇʀ ɢᴇᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ʜᴀᴘᴘʏ-ᴇᴠᴇʀ-ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ᴄᴏᴠᴇʀ ʙʏ: ᴍᴇ {ꜱᴇᴛ ɪɴ ᴛᴡɪʟɪɢʜᴛ ʙʀᴇᴀᴋɪɴɢ ᴅᴀᴡɴ ᴘᴀʀᴛ 1&2} {ʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴛᴡᴏ ᴏꜰ ᴛʜᴇ 'ᴄʀɪᴍꜱᴏɴ' ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ} {ꜱᴛᴏʀʏ ᴄᴏᴍᴘʟᴇᴛᴇ!}Complete
✓ | 𝟓 | 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 ━ Emmett Cullen
˗ˏˋ꒰ 🦋 ꒱ - ̥۪͙۪˚┊❛ 𝐒𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐑𝐘 ❜┊˚ ̥۪͙۪◌ ╰┈➤ ❝ [(n.) Your safe and peaceful haven, a comforting place of refuge and rest in a noisy, chaotic world.] ❝ It was instinctive, the way I fell for you, like an effortless intake of breath.❞ - Josh Walker ━━━ In which a vampire who enjoys the state of loneliness realizes that being alone is not always the solution to finding peace, not after she meets an energetic vampire whose company is strangely comforting. 𝘰𝘳 ━━━ In which the high-spirited member of the Cullen Clan finds his match in an introverted, sarcastic redhead, and he admits that he likes their bantering. 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚃𝚄𝚂: 𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐄 𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃𝙴𝙳: 𝟶𝟽/𝟸𝟷/𝟸𝟸 𝙲𝙾𝙼𝙿𝙻𝙴𝚃𝙴𝙳: 𝟷𝟷/𝟸𝟷/𝟸𝟸 𝙴𝙳𝙸𝚃𝙴𝙳: 𝟶𝟻/𝟸𝟽/𝟸𝟹 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･✨꒰ 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐕𝐎𝐖𝐒 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒 ꒱ ➸ #𝟷-𝙴𝚞𝚗𝚘𝚒𝚊|𝙲.𝙲𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚗| ✓ ➸ #𝟸-𝚀𝚞𝚎 𝚂𝚎𝚛𝚊 𝚂𝚎𝚛𝚊|𝙰.𝙲𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚗| ✓ ➸ #𝟹-𝚁𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝙳'𝚎̂𝚝𝚛𝚎|𝙹.𝙷𝚊𝚕𝚎| ✓ ➸ #𝟺-𝙰𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎|𝚁.𝙷𝚊𝚕𝚎| ✓ ➸ #𝟻-𝚂𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚝𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚢| 𝙴.𝙲𝚞𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚗| ✓ 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐬: 80K - 03/18/2026 [𝐄𝐌𝐌𝐄𝐓𝐓 𝐂𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐍 𝐗 𝐅𝐄𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐄 𝐎𝐂] [𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐃𝐀𝐖𝐍 𝟐] [𝐓𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐀] 𝐂𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫: @-SNIVYNYX ©𝐌𝐲𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐏𝐬𝐲𝐜𝐡𝐞_ | 2022Complete
Imprint - Seth Clearwater x reader
My older sister, Bella, and I had to move from Phoenix to a small town in Washington called Forks. It was a pretty big change for me but even bigger for Bella. Everything was going pretty well, until Charlie makes me go with Bella to the Cullen's, for her birthday, and Jasper tries to kill her. Since then I know everything about them. After Edward leaves Bella and she becomes broken, Charlie prefers that I go with her to most places. That also includes when she went to check if Jacob was ok after he ignored her, and he turns into a wolf. After everything goes back to normal for Bella, (meaning Edward comes back) dad still likes having me around her. So, he makes me go with her when Bella goes with Jacob, to sit around a campfire and talk about their "history." But at that same time is when it happens, when I meet the youngest one of the tribe, Seth Clearwater. He imprints on me. And my whole life changed because of all of it. I went from the sporty, loud girl who tried to stay away from Bella's weirdness, to being one of the tribe. (i wrote this like two years ago so please ignore any grammar mistakes or how cringe it gets)Complete
Bella and Edward are living peacful after their fight with the Volturi. But a visit from the Denali's is going to change that. How is Bella going to react when she finds out that Tanya wants to steal the love of her life? Could Edward leave her to be with Tanya? Or will Tanya try to kill Bella so she will be out of the picture all together? Shortly after the Cullens start school, Renesmee and Jacob start becoming more closer and start developing a romantic relationship. How will Bella and Edward feel about their daughter already getting romantic with Jacob? And how are Bella and Edward going to react when they found out that Renesmee and Jacob want to get married when Renesmee isnt fully grown adult yet? And what will the Volturi do when they find out a Wolf and a Vampire want to be married? Find out in my version of what happens after Breaking Dawn
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