"Even bad girls have to stop being bad sometimes," he whispered in my ear. I hated this, he can't actually have this effect on me. "Don't you think-"
"No. I don't." I shoved him back, just like I had done a million times over only this time it was different. This time it meant something. It was real now, and I didn't want it to be real.
"Nick, we can't keep playing this game!" He threw his hands in the air, his eyes blazing with the icy blue that I has previously fallen so weak too, but now I stood strong. I can't let him win this one, I can't let him win me.
I grabbed onto his shirt and pulled him close. The intensity in the air was overwhelming, but I pushed it aside. He wanted too much from me, he wanted my future, and I had already gave him too much of my past. And anyway, this is now, what more can he ask for?
I slid my hands around his neck and brought him to my lips. I kissed him gently, full of passion. He kissed back, wrapping his hands around my waist, his fingers going ever so slightly up my shirt. He was so lost in this moment, unlike me who was thinking of a thousand ways to leave.
I pulled back, my eyes dark with hatred for what I was about to say. I didn't want to say it, but we both knew I was going to anyways. We've both been in this position before, this is why bad girl and bad boy don't go together. They can't change each other.
"If you don't want to play the game, don't."
Ella is falling apart trying to live a "perfect" high school life. Then she meets Ren, who can see past her scars. Suddenly perfection isn't her only option.
*****
Ella Volkov is a gifted music student, but she's depressed and starting to crack under the pressure of high school. Her overbearing father won't even let her choose what instrument she plays. Then she finds herself alone at a party with Ren, her best friend's crush. She'd always thought he was rude, but after that night he's all Ella can think about. Now she's trapped. If Ella dates Ren, it will ruin her friendship with Jenny. But if she stays true to Jenny, she's losing the one person who can see past her scars. It's up to Ella to decide if she will forge her own path, or stay in the "perfect" box designed for her...
Content and/or Trigger Warning: depression, anxiety, self-harm, violence, sexual assault.
[[word count: 50,000-100,000 words]]