Writing Aimlessly

The people I love seems to hate me. I used to be the spotlight now I feel like I'm fading away like a wallflower. People know that I'm there but they don't seem to acknowledge that I'm there for them to help. All they can think about themselves where they think I'm nothing but a problem in their life which they try to solve everyday. I'm not a problem neither I'm a puzzle which people need to solve just saying that they don't like me is enough for me to know so that I can stay away from their life and way. Some people think I'm selfish and also a fake bitch who tends to use her friends for her benefit but what they don't know that even though I'm a selfish fake bitch I don't use my friends nor I select between them. Once you are a friend with someone you'll always remain as their friends who tends to laugh, cry, be sad with you. They will be always there for you no matter what they judge you nor they would leave you alone in your bad times and they will always lend your their shoulders to cry on, also their ears for listening to your complain or how was ur day. People use the sentence "I Love You" very easily but the question is do they know what love is? I obviously don't know what love is so can't say I know. Once someone told me that people love the concept about being in love. So I guess that explains why people say "I love you" every easily. Wow can't believe I wrote so many words which I'm finding useless and aimless. The reason I took the pledge for writing 30days regularly which is kind of a challenge to me because I hate writing and I don't know how to play with words. Here what I wrote is completely aimless I just vomited words here which were in my mind. Sorry don't want to bore you guys anymore with my writing which is why I'm stopping now. That's all for today and if anyone read these then all I can say is thank you very much for reading it and also it's my first time writing if any grammatical mistakes happen then please forgive me.
Thank you
Alina