All that I know
- Reads 81
- Votes 2
- Parts 5
Ongoing10m
Last published Sat, Jul 2, 2016
I am an Indian. A Hindu. I am a Hindu just because I was born as one. I didn't have any option.
I wanted a chance actually. I wanted a chance to read,understand and then finally adapt.
Let me inform the readers that I am completely uneducated about religion,mythology,philosophy and other important stuffs. Never read any of the holy pages. Never felt like. Have been to temple a couple of times however. Found many people joining hands worshiping idol and I'm sure enough, they don't know much about it either.
I am writing to just save my thoughts. Stupid thoughts. I am clear enough by now to indicate where I am going to. So please shift to some good,positive blog if you wish to. Right away.
Who knows if one day I become one kind of a strong believer. I can come back to the blog and laugh at myself else if I never change the way I think, I can probably come back and write some more stupidity.
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I'm trying to keep my eyes open while hearing the noises of doctors and the beeps of machines. It's feeling like something is going away from me. I'm trying my best to keep my conscious. But second by second my strength is draining and pain is increasing into my head and whole body. But right now , I don't give damn to my own self. Anything could happen to me. I don't care. But nothing should happen to my child ... he should survive and live his life unlike his mother "who never got anything in her life. First I couldn't get the love from my parents "which i deserved.." then i got the husband "who don't give shit to my existence. My whole life went trying to get the piece of love "which I at least deserved once in my life . But no one dared to give to me and now god is snatching my last happiness as well. Which is my child. When I'd got to know about him. A ray of hope I'd felt in my life. I thought at least now I'll able to get someone whom I could call mine. But seems like god couldn't see me stay happy and now I'm laying on death bed holding my womb pleading to god that he should keep my baby safe. But I guess he can't see me happy and soon I heard doctor's faint voice " who announced baby is no more. We lost the baby. He whispered looking at other doctors being dejected. Tears made their ways from my twitching eyes..' and I felt like to scream and cry bitterly. All the emotions are gushing towards my brain and heart. but being numb on the bed made me so helpless that I can't even cry. After battling I couldn't hold my sanity and fell unconscious.
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